Broken

Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning, threw on my leggings, tied up my hair and went for a jog leaving a note for Jason on the countertop. I still remember the stale smell of smoke. The fresh cold crisp air hit me as I walked out. I put in my earphones and began to jog.
I must have been out an hour before I returned home. Jason was lying on the couch. The house was clean. As clean than it had been in years.
"Who done this?"
"I did, maybe it will make it easier for her to start. I read through all the brochures as well. I really hope all these help her."
"Yeah, we'll i was onto my old social worker as well she said she'll keep an eye on her and make sure she goes."
"Oh really,"
He stood up, walked over and held my hands. He looked straight into my eyes.
"Baby, if you need more time to stay here its ok, we will."
"No, I can't hold her hand through everything, she has to have some strong will. I can give her this talk and what she wants to do after that is up to her."
For the next half hour we sat on the couch watching daytime TV. My mother walked out, opened the fridge and took out a beer.
I hopped up from the couch and grabbed it from her hand.
"Stop, sit down." Before she had time to protest, I led her to the armchair and sat beside Jason, brochures in hand.
For the next two hours we talked and talked. Her sitting there with tears in her eyes. I handed her the brochures and explained what was going to happen, she walked over to her purse, took out €200 and handed it to me. I took it because there was no point in trying to give it back. I looked at the packed boxes in my room. The van was coming around 5:30pm. I didn't know what I was going to say to her. We walked down to the hospital. Lexi was sitting up in her bed, i ran through the doors and hugged her tightly. When I pulled back tears filled our eyes.
"Im so sorry, I shouldn't have gone, you needed me here."
"No, I knew his reputation, I should have known better."
I hugged her again.
"Who's that?" She whispered into my ear.
"This is Jason, you might know him, he's from outside the town."
He looked over and raising his hand. He gave her a quick smile. I didn't blame him, I wasn't sure what to do either.
"Is there anything you need?"
"Nah, food would be nice, food is shit here!"
"Will we go to the supermarket for you?"
"Yeah, hand me my purse."
"No, our treat."
He pulled me aside.
"I'll go, I'll leave you to talk to her, if you want."
"Yeah please,"
He walked over to her and took the list.
"Is this it?"
She looked up, "Yeah ,pretty much"
He walked over to me kissed me, and gently and squeezed my arm. He walked out, leaving the scent of Lynx behind him.
"So, what's going on between you."
"God, Lexi your need for gossip hasn't changed."
We both laughed, she held her side in pain.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, fine they had to stitch it up."
"Ok, I won't make you laugh then"
She smiled as I sat beside the bed.
"Well, tonight at 5:30 the van is coming to collect my things, Im going to move up to Dublin with him. I know you might think its crazy but he's so good to me and we sat down with my mother and we have her going to AA meetings. And my old social worker is making sure she does go. And for you, you'll be up with us when ever you want."
She breathed deeply to take it all in. Tears began to fill her eyes, I leaned in, I could feel the tears seeping through my jumper.
"I love you Gráinne."
"Yeah, honey I know, I love you too. You have to promise me something though."
"Anything,"
"If the guards ask you about what happened you need to tell them, no covering up for him. You tell them exactly what happened?"
"Promise."
I stayed another half hour before leaving for the last time. When we got home the van was there, my mother was standing at the door with her hair and makeup done. She was wearing a long floral top and leggings. I couldn't believe it, she looked like she did when i was young. When everything was ok. Wow, she looked so much younger. It was at that moment my hate for her vanished, she was my mammy again. Jason looked down at me and pulled me tighter.
"She'll be ok."
I finally believed it. We sat into his car after saying our goodbyes. I got out of the car and walked inside while she talked to Jason. I put the €200 on the counter. I left a note on top of it.
You need it more than me.
Love you.
Gráinne x
I walked back out and hugged her.
"Mind yourself baby girl."
I nodded as she flattened down my hair. She kissed me on the forehead. I sat in the car, as we drove away she smiled and waved. Tears filled my eyes. She hadn't been like that since I walked to school on my own for the first time when I was 7. I looked back as we got onto the motor way. I was glad we came down, things were done, no loose threads.