Happening

Three

Ever wondered why does one lie? Maybe its because everybody wishes to hide the worst of themselves from their lover. Imagine yourself as a criminal, murderer of thousands you used to be someone who would watch the whole world burn while ashes of it were stuck to their feet.

But then this girl came in your life and turned it upside down and you can't bear to think what their reaction would be when they hear that you , of all people, their love had done such a thing . So you change stuff , you change your name , you chnage your nationality.

After all this is all for love, so many lies for love. But they didn't appreciate it . They knew you that you lied about every aspect of your past

And now she's walking away. I stand on the ashes of the two dairies that we wrote for each other. Love filled ones, with soft illustrations of roses and flowers and kisses and hearts on the edges. One of them had a white cover, the one that i wrote in. It has taken me two months to complete it . Tears dripped down my cheeks and i cradled the small bag in my arms.

I wished i would have kept my half of the diary with me . Something to remember her and the fact that love was possible in me. If only had i not completed her half of the diary I would have saved all. Kept them locked in the small drawer in my closet. Away from what ever feeling that made her throw them into the fucking fire.

The smoke from the leaves and wood and white pages rises up and into the mango tree above me. I scramble to my knees and pick up a stick. It feels hard and prickly in my hands . At poking the fire ,wood with red hot edges heats my face and hands. There is barely anything left . She must have tore the pages into shreds before tossing them into the fire.

I was such an idiot. Idiot to date a person like her , someone who doesn't even care about how much work i had put into it . Someone who lied about the whole thing and then kept playing with my emotions.

That day i was laying on the sofa at my aunt's place. The black sofa with silver cushions seemed so fit in their living room. Selene had been here when we both had giggled our heart out and then kissed on the terrace. The concrete floor was uneven and had dug into my bare feet when she pushed onto me , taking advantage of her height and held me by my waist when the air ruffed our hair and the blue endless sky spread above us. She was wearing a coat to save her from the February cold and I laid my head on her shoulder giggling about how soft her cheeks were.

Selene's voice flowed out of the phone
" Thank you for not caring or loving me you idiot" she explained. The brown fan kept running with soft creek sounds and the chandelier Glowed yellow. "- to hurt me and make me angry you try to show us together and say all those love sick things" ,with a pause she continued " I was actually never in love with you that way , i was never a lesbian and i am still not now. I just did almost everything possible to make you happy , but you exceeded your limit." I expected her voice to break but she kept going . I could imagine her sitting on the chair in her room her phone upto her ear , her face red with anger and her twirling the pink ring in her finger . God knows what happned to it. " If you respect me don't say useless things, then it's obvious that I won't get angry and talk rudely " I almost smirked at that sentence.

Selene despised me and I knew it. Maybe it was just plain anger or some other feeling that people went through post breakup. The one thing was clear , she was always going to be bitchy towards me no matter how I try and how well i behave . She is stuck on getting me to drive the knife through my throat and slit my wrists with sharpner blades.

"And it is true , I hate that to make you happy. I loved you more than anyone i had ever loved." With that she ended the call.