Happening

Three

Ever wondered why does one lie? Maybe its because everybody wishes to hide the worst of themselves from their lover. Imagine yourself as a criminal, murderer of thousands you used yo be soneone who would watch the whole world burn while ashes of it were stuck to their feet. But then this girl came in  your life and turned it upside down and you can't bear to think what their reaction would be when they hear that you , of all people, their love had done such a thing . So you change stuff , you change your name , you chnage your nationality.
After all this is all for love, so many lies for love. But they didn't appreciate it . They knew you that you lied about every aspect of your past

And now she's walking away. I stand on the ashes of the two dairies that we wrote for each other. Loved filled ones, with soft illustrations of roses and flowers and kisses and hearts on the edges. One of them had a white cover, the one that i wrote in. It has taken me two months to complete it . Tears dripped down my cheeks and i cradled the small bag in my arms.

I wished i would have kept my half of the diary with me . Something to remember her and the fact that love was possible in me. If only had i not completed her half of the diary I would have saved all. Kept them locked in the small drawer in my closet.  Away from what ever demonic feeling that made her throw them into the fucking fire. The smoke from the leaves and wood and white pages rises up and into the mango tree above me. I scramble to my knees and  pick up a stick. It feels hard and prickly in my hands . At poking the fire ,wood  with red hot edges heats my face and hands.  There is barely anything left . She must have tore the pages into shreds before tossing them into the fire.

I was such an idiot. Idiot to date a person like her , someone who doesn't even care about how much work i had put into it . Someone who lied about the whole thing and then kept playing with my emotions.

I often wonder who came up with the word "love". Selene said that once you keep saying things it slowly looses its meaning , I don't think so . It's just that our soul gets used to it. When we hear "i love you" the first time it's new and it is supposed to feel good because it is what makes us realise that things are pretty in the world and so are we . As time passes we realise things further and get used to the fact that love happned. The fact that sometimes people get bored when the freshness fades off and they don't ever realise that now their heart beats the same as their lover's does.

And then no one realises the heart beat until one of them walk out or ones heart ceases to beat. The tiny pecks on the lips while selene stays engrossed in reading her books and the heart filled breathtaking french ones are all same blur of love for me.
You know Edgar Allan Poe he never realised that his work was fabulous , mostly because none of his fans really were from America.  He received miraculous applause from the French and tons of letters with them cherishing his work. Then their was Virgil, he did write world renowned poems ,three of them but did he ever realise he would be in the fourth art piece too, a great one , Dante's inferno series. I might have just taken all of you through a history book revision,  extremely sorry for that . But the point is , love never comes naturally until you make it happen.  I don't know who needs to hear this but , if you feel like you aren't getting all that appreciation and care you felt that you would get don't give up just yet there is always a perfect time for certain things.

Provided that most of you might have read a story or two about some person being the right guy at the wrong time . Yes that's what I'm talking about. But what if we change things