Whatever We Deny Or Embrace

coming back to myself

Do you want to hear a love story? A story in which a girl is in love with a boy and the boy knows but doesn't care. Here is the story of my first love but the story of many unrequited loves.

---

"Do you still love him?"

Of course she still loved him. She had never stopped. Although he had never really noticed her, she somehow fell in love with a mere glance.

It was a quick glance but she felt her world become still when he saw her look at her.

When he got closer that day, her heart beat a little faster and when she got home she thought about him.

He wouldn't leave her mind and soon he began to appear in her dreams.

When she found out her was taken, her heart broke but he was never hers was he?

He never spoke to her.

He didn't smile at her.

He didn't give her that warm hug she craved.

He didn't look back as she passed.

He only glanced.

It was only a second long and that was all it took for her to fall in love.

No matter how hard she tried he wouldn't leave her mind no matter how much it killed her to love a taken guy.

Months later, she continued to glance at him but he wouldn't see her.

Soon she gave up, it was hopeless.

She accepted that he wasn't hers to love and she tried to let him go. Even though he always seemed to be there in the back of her mind, she eventually let go.

It was only a crush afterall.

---

Dear xx,

Here I am again, the same old situation.

I always thought the way you spelled your name was extremely unique. This year, I planned on putting myself first and being completely selfish and only having my thought on myself. I didnt expect to like you this much. If I'm being completely honest, it all just hit me at once.

I dont know what it is.

I dont know if it's your eyes or your Colgate smile or just the way you walk. I dont want to pressure you. I would see you for a few seconds a day at first and for me, that was everything.

I know this probably sounds crazy and borderline stalker but I'm just being honest. The reason I'm writing this is because I'm too shy to say it aloud, to say it to you. I'm afraid to tell you how I feel, instead I hide behind little glances and honey smiles. Set me free why don't you? Let me breathe. You just keep me hanging on.

I cant breathe when you're here, even though you're far from suffocating me.

Sometimes you make me feel like I could have a chance, but then when I take the chance you leave me realize that I never truly did.