Quackity X Shrek Oneshots

daddy asf

alex realized he did not want to let anyone know he was pregnant.  not shrek and certainly not thanos. because shrek wouldn't text him and thanos was... well.

okay. so not them. but he needed some support system so he rang karl on discord. 

"karl im pregnant"

on the line, he could hear him spit out his monster energy. "no dude thats a lie."

alex burst into tears "i stg im not lying i had sex with shrek and thanos and now im pregnant and i don't know who the father is. help karl."

"wait, shrek and thanos? you ho."

"karl that is no way to talk to a pregnant man." alex sniffed again, must be the hormones. 

"okay. um. do you know how far along you are?"

"i don't know karl. i didn't ask."

"okay." karl was silent for a second. "im coming over." 

alex sobbed harder into the phone, "wait, dont you live in north carolina??"

"im here, bitch."

then the doorbell rang. alex couldn't believe it. how did karl get to his house so fast?? he opened the door and karl just stood in the doorway.

"karl, how did you get here so fast?" 

karl smiled. "i had a monster energy. :D"

alex glared at him. "how did you do a smiley emoticon in real life?"

"shh" karl put a finger to his lips, "don't question it, mamas." then his face lit up. "wait i can actually call you that now because you are going to be a mother :D"

'great karl, i definitely didn't realize that. 

"its okay i know im the smart one." karl wrapped alex in a big hug and he started crying again. 

"okay buddy, maybe we should get you to bed." karl patted his back. 

alex nodded, feeling tired again. hey he had an excuse. 

minutes later, he let karl tuck him into bed. 

"sleep tight best friend" karl placed a soft homies kiss to his forehead and then alex fell asleep. 

the next morning, alex realized something very scary. karl took a bite of fruity pebbles as he gasped loudly. "i have to tell shrek and thanos im pregnant." karl just ate more cereal and nodded. 

"although maybe i should wait a little bit. i want shrek to leave fiona for me."

"okay," karl said through a mouthful of fruit flavored rice cereal, "but what if it's thanos' child? how will shrek leave um, his wife, for you then?"

"i didn't think about that," alex put his head in his hands and sighed loudly. karl rubbed his shoulder lightly. "keep pogging through the pain," he whispered softly