Quackity X Shrek Oneshots

grape or lime

now alex was 6 months pregnant and karl had stayed with him the entire time. karl helped him through all of his problems except one, telling thanos and shrek he was pregnant. 

alex took a deep breath and started typing, sending the same message to both men. 

lol im pregnat lmao: alex

karl nodded appreciatively "that's good they will definitely understand what it means." alex felt very proud of himself. then he realized that he didn't have shrek's number and he accidentally sent it to jschlatt. oh well. thanos replied immediately 

thanos: wait what do u mean ur pregnant

thanos: plz say sike

thanos: (typing)

thanos: lmao hore 

alex looked at karl with puppy dog eyes. "i really hope thanos is not the father." it was almost enough to make him start crying again but he didn't want to cry in front of karl for the 33rd time. 

suddenly, a notification popped up on his phone. it was a text from schlatt

schlattykins: quackity what did u do with that fat ass now

shlattykins: god this is great for the lore.. haha pregnant with a ghost's child. 

schlatt, im actually pregnant: alex

schlattykins: wait who busted in my mans

schlattykins: im gonna fucking kill them

it was shrek: alex

or maybe thanos:alex

schlattykins: (typing)

schlattykins: hore

you can no longer send messages to this user

alex looked up to karl sniffing loudly. "you good bro?"

karl nodded "yeah. just thinking about how im going to be an uncle.  i love the child already" he made grabby hands towards alex's middle. 

"no get away creep. that's fucking weird" alex slapped karl's hand. 

"at least i didn't sleep around with shrek and thanos." 

"don't joke about that im sensitive." alex felt tears welling up in his eyes and karl's demeanor changed very quickly. 

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you." karl opened his arms and alex let him hug him. he had to admit, karl did give the nicest hugs. 

since they had no way of reaching shrek, alex realized that he had to go to the ogre's house to tell him. he began to panic. what if fiona was there? what if shrek reacted the same way thanos did? what if he didn't? luckily, karl would be there the whole time to calm him down. 

the two quickly called an uber to shrek's swamp, arriving in record time. 

alex felt his heart pound as he and karl squelched through the mud leading up to shrek's house. it was kind of funny, hearing his friend complain about the gross ground while he was about to have one of the most terrifying moments of his life, but he didn't have a chance to ring the doorbell or even knock. karl screamed loudly when he stepped on a dead rat, alerting whoever was in the hut to their presence. 

shrek opened the door to see a very pregnant alex and a strange man child on his porch. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP???" had alex been anyone else, he would have been scared but he was used to shrek's behavior by now. 

"listen, shrek. i'm pregnant. and i think it's yours." alex shifted on his feet, refusing to meet the ogre's eyes. 

"alex...." he felt a comforting touch on his cheek "this is the best thing that could happen." 

he looked up to see shrek beaming and tears of joy stream down his face. "I'm going to be a dad!"

for the first time in a long time, alex felt loved. shrek put both hands on his face and kissed him softly, and alex held the ogre in his arms. they were both crying now, with karl still screaming about the dead rat. shrek pulled away for a second and put a hand on alex's stomach. "i love you," he said, kissing alex's cheek. 

"IM GOING TO BE A FATHER XDDD" alex had never seen shrek so happy and for the first time, alex felt his child kick him in his womb.