Looking Down

Chapter six

🌸POV: Tris🌸

Everyone's been really nice to me. Especially Prim. Right now, though, I just want to be alone. But what I really want is to be with Tobias. I never did want to leave him. But if I hadn't, Caleb would be here instead of me.

I've been to the balcony at least twenty times and I haven't even been here a week. I'm actually going there now. I'm planning on spending time with Uriah, Marlene, and Will but I've been spending all my time with Prim. She's really sweet. She'd definitely be Abnegation, I can see it in her. She goes out of her way to help people.

I'm thinking about this as I approach the balcony. I'm so lost in thought that I don't see the boy until I run into him, literally.

"Oh. I'm so sorry," I say as I look up at his face.

"It's fine, Tris," he says, and that's when I remember his name.

"Oh, okay. Augustus, right? What're you doing here?" I gesture to the balcony.

"I was watching Hazel Grace. She's the love of my life. See that girl," he points to someone in a hospital bed, " that's her. She gave me a forever within numbered days."

I stay quiet for a little while, watching her. "Do you mind if I..." he shakes his head. I close my eyes and when I open them again I see Tobias, standing my the chasm.

"Who's that?"

"That's Tobias. My boyfriend. I didn't want to leave him, but I had to save my brother."

"You know, I've seen you here a lot. You must really miss him."

"I do," I say and try to hide my tears.

"I find that it helps to write letters to the people you miss. I mean, they can't read them until they get here, but it helps to write down whatever you want to tell them." I nod along silently, considering if I should write a letter to Tobias. "Well, I should go," Augustus says, "have a good day, Tris."

Once I get back to my room I pull out a pen and piece of paper. I stare at it for what feels like hours and then finally start to write.

"Dear Tobias,
I miss you. But don't worry about me, I've made some good friends. I also got to see some old ones, too. Marlene and Uriah are still dating. Will forgives me. And Tori got to see her brother from afar. Will and Uriah have told me that Al's here, too. I just haven't seen him yet. My parents are here, too. It's been great being with them. All we're missing is you. But please take your time. I'm not going anywhere. I will always love you.
-Six"

Not too long after I've finished there's a knock on my door. When I open it, I try hard not to slam the door in his face.

It's Al.

"Tris, can we talk?" he asks. I barely manage to nod before I step out of the doorway to let him in.

I.... What do you want?" I ask.

"To apologize. I don't know what came over me, but I never meant to hurt you. And when you wouldn't forgive me, I couldn't live with myself. I didn't want to live at all, so I.... Anyways, I'm sorry. Could you please, please forgive me?"

I think this over and slowly start to nod. Relief fills his face.

"There's one other thing, though," he says. "I'm not really sure how to say this, but, I love you, Tris. I have for a while. And I was thinking maybe we could date?" he says shyly.

"Al, that's sweet. But before I died, I was dating To- Four, our initiation instructor. I- there's no one I want to be with but him."

"But you're nowhere near him. And it's not like he's going to show up anytime soon!"

"Al, listen, I said I could forgive you, but it will take a while. And Four, he's the only person I want to be with, and I will someday. I love him, and no one is going to change that."