A Forbidden Love (edited)

I Apologize I Am Exhausted and Afraid

I walked through Mystic Falls looking for him, I was nearing the town square and area where the Mystic Grill resided. Once I reached into town, I had to stop with my speed. Not because I cared about the humans seeing, they'd see me as only a gust of wind, but because the fatigue that was residing within me only grew stronger as I persisted using my vampire speed.
I chalked it up to not feeding recently enough, and continued on looking for Kai.

I found him soon walking beside one of the benches that lay in a row through the square. All thoughts of feeding and fatigue left me. Instead I felt only elation.

"Kai!" I called out to him, waving as though I were merely a human. I ran to him like one to when he didn't immediately notice me and through my arms around him.

Fondly, I smelled the cloves that seemed to cling to him. His own arms wrapping around me before he roughly pushed me back. His mouth was turned down in anger and I could feel him pulling the magic from the ground to him like a cloak shielding him from me. My arm hairs stood on edge from the sensation of so much magic. It kept me at bay well enough.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Viktoria?" His voice held a hurt that simmered beneath the surface his own eyes glaring at me like icicles ready to shatter upon me. It hurt and wavered and cracked. My own heart shattering with each word. Each worry he voiced brought of my carelessness. My sudden need to be the righteous siblings after I learned I was destined for worse.
The emotions in his voice tore me to shreds as though someone had taken a knife to my insides.

"I almost killed your younger brother, Kam? Kaz? I don't know or care. Then, I thought better not, don't want her to come back angry. When the real question was, why should I care when you so obviously don't? I couldn't stop though. This weird watery goop came out of my eyes when I saw you. Just like when you were dead. I have been informed it's considered crying. I thought I was poisoned or cursed? I even went to that brunette and Damon for help! No one knew what to do, so I did what I do best. I killed like half of this small town that's like half an hour away. I didn't care if I got sent to another prison world or killed. I couldn't care. Did you curse me? Then, the stupid bossy blondes came as like team cheerleader and were like don't kill towns of people. It's suspicious." I held up a hand, interrupting, "Who are the bossy blondes?"

He looked down at me as though I was stupid, "As I was saying before I was very rudely interrupted by you the gallivanting-not caring-running-away-cursing-fallen angel, it was the blondes who you hang around with. Bossy and loud. They snapped my neck when I didn't listen, which possibly against popular belief hurts  even when you used a protection spell. I mean you wouldn't think it would, but it really stings."

My own rage grew with his story though I simmered it listening to him. Exhaustion was gnawing at me, and I could barely manage to keep my eyes open.

I wished to hear what he had to get off his chest, but I had my own pressing questions. "How long was I gone for?"
Any anger seemed to shed off him and instead there was only sadness, "One month. Two weeks. Six days. 4 hours. It was near enough to two months. The first week, I didn't worry. It's been worse and worse after. No one would tell me where you were. Rebekah finally broke and showed me. Kol told me the guilt you'd been feeling for months now. It hurt that you didn't tell me. I hadn't felt hurt like that since I learned my family thought I was a monster. It started to feel like forever, so I killed some people to let out my feelings. The cheerleader duo kept me drugged for a bit for "public safety" and I was literally like just let go basically an hour ago, maybe two."

I forced a smile. His words had torn me to shreds, I knew what I did. What I concealed wasn't okay. I just hadn't the courage to tell him how torn up I felt. The judgement I was casting upon myself. I opted for humor and deflection. The best and only technique I knew. "Does that mean you missed me?"