A Forbidden Love (edited)

The Truth Will Set You Free, but It Sure Feels Like Someone Punched Me

I stood by Kai's side my fingers interlaced with his. We were waiting for the okay from Caroline and Rebekah when he turned to look at me suddenly. Caroline was dressed as a fae a circlet crowning her head. Her dress flowing beneath her, a beautiful ballerina pink. Beside her stood Rebekah dressed as an angel, her hair glowing gossamer around her. I could see them in the light both were glowing with it. It would be easy to see when they waved us down as the guests of honor.

My attention was brought back to Kai as his hand gripped mine turning me towards him.

Kai looked down at me. I'd never noticed the height difference too much before, but I could feel it now. I felt more exposed than I had before. His eyes were serious, something I didn't often attribute to him. It set me on edge. "Tell me why your brother plotted to kill you. How he convinced your sister to kill you."

I willed my tears to subside. I couldn't tell him. It was too terrible. The worst of my crimes. "Kai," my voice was soft. Broken. This story of mine was one I could barely stand to look back gone. How could I tell him? Keep him at my side? When this crime would haunt me for eternity. It had damned me to hell through association. Tormented my dreams.

"Oh, Kai," I wished desperately to reach out my hand to him. Stroke his face. Seek comfort by his side, "I am the worst of all monsters." I couldn't reach for him. I was too scared. More vulnerable than I'd ever felt.

Perhaps he understood that I couldn't move to him. His hands moved and for a moment I felt alone, he wasn't holding my hand any longer.

In mere seconds his hands wound tightly around my waist, pulling my hips towards him. "If you are a monster than what am I? You are not a monster." His voice held all the conviction in the world. It was meant to wipe away my self hate. I shook with the memory. No one could ever wipe it away. I wished he could.
His grey blues were wide, as if they were pleading with me to believe him.

Things like that. This seriousness. It stripped me down. I was defenseless against him. My soul felt as if it were already bared beneath his gaze.
"If you are a monster. How are you any worse than any supernatural residing beneath the sun. Even any in Mystic Falls. Crazy pants Elena has killed. Your siblings have killed. I have killed. You are not a monster."

Oh. How I wished it to be true. My eyes fluttered closed. I couldn't look at him as I spoke. It was all too much, and still he held me tight. He was now embracing me. His arms were tight and held close to me.

My voice shook even as I whispered. I couldn't make myself any louder.
"No one has killed as I do. No one as ravenous as I am. You wish to hear my crimes? To be the judge? You, who holds my heart in his grip?"

He held me tighter his head buried in my hair, "If you are a monster it means everything said about me was true. I must be a monster too. I wouldn't have cared before the merge, but now it hurts, I think."

"No." I pulled away looking into his eyes, "No. I will tell you my greatest crime. Yours, no you are not a monster." Now I did stroke his face gently. "You my love, were merely lost. You wished for a home. For love. For acceptance. I will provide all I can for you. If that means sharing everything. I will. I'll be there for you in whatever way I can."

He pulled me close once more burying his face in my hair before softly kissing me. "I love you. More than I have liked anyone in my entire family. I like you more than I liked my brother Joey, but..." he paused for a brief moment, "Well, I killed him. I guess that maybe doesn't count very much. It totally should count though, I almost regretted killing him. No, I love you though. If I had to choose between your life or mine. I'd sacrifice mine easily. I'd kill whoever made me make that choice, but I'd choose you. I'd say Viktoria every-time in every-life. I would go against every survival instinct I had learned and say spare her. Yes, her the angry one. Yes! The raving crazy person who says she's a monster. I don't care. I love you."