My Love ✔️

The incident

When I wake up in the morning, I get ready quickly and take the bus to go to work. I told Woozi I'd go to work by myself for once and he agreed, a little worried but no more.

As I stare outside, I'm reminded of yesterday. I usually don't think about my mother since I never knew her, but I guess yesterday, some fears broke free and came to the surface. I remember kids at school telling me how I killed my mother, that if I never existed, she would still be alive today, that I stole my father's soulmate from him.

Maybe that's part of the reason why I feel like I don't deserve to play that song. But like Jin said, it's not my fault. Dad told me many times. I know he regrets telling me so soon, it wasn't intentional, it slipped up, but what is done is done. He always made sure to give me all the love I needed, to give me all of his attention, so I never really felt alone. I grew up surrounded by my father and Woozi, and still today, all my friends are men. I guess I'm just not meant to have female friends.

I pass by Jin's restaurant and see him emptying a container into the trash bin. How can he look so majestic even when taking care of trash? I snap a picture before I get too far and send it to him with a smirk.

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

J I N

Seokjin:
What is that
Are you spying on me?
Where are you, I can't see you

Y/N:
I'm on the bus! I never realized we pass by your restaurant
So when I saw you I hurried to take a pic lol

Seokjin:
And you didn't think about getting off the bus to come see me?
I'm hurt!

Y/N:
Sorry, you know I have a busy day today
I'll make it up to you, okay?

Seokjin:
Oh, then tell me, dear
How will you do that?

Y/N:
Hum...
I haven't thought that far yet...

Seokjin:
I see
Well then if you don't find something by the end of the day
I'll have to choose by myself

Y/N:
I'll think of something!
Probably

Seokjin:
Hahaha, alright, I'll see you later Y/N
Have a great day and don't overdo it

Y/N:
You too, Jinnie

Seokjin:
❤️

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

I smile at the heart he just sent me. He's not one to use a lot of emojis, but when he does, it's always a heart. He assured me that I'm the only one who gets the honor of receiving them too, but I never really went around to sending one back.

I guess I'm just nervous of what would happen if I do. It feels like a big step somehow, one I've pushed back so much it's now become much harder to do. It's just a little heart, but sending it feels like I'd give him my real heart too, and doing that by text just feels kinda wrong.

If I have to tell him how much I like him, it should be in person. Then I could send him those without worrying, because to me, sending heart emojis has a bigger meaning than just for fun.

The same way I know he means every one of them. He's told me a few times now that he doesn't mind waiting for me until I'm ready for the next step, as long as I let him shower me with love. The only deal he would accept, he said. I smile as I remember that day.