Graces pov
“I’m breaking up with you, don’t ever talk to me again”..
What did Alice just do?! I had no idea what was going on.
“Alice, what are you doing?”
“Look I have… I had a boyfriend but it’s a long story with him, I needed to dump him and by meeting you today I felt like the universe was giving me a sign”
“What? A sign? Alice, we just met… tonight.”
“I know but I just felt something with you”
“You know what, no, I can’t go through this again”
“What I- ”
“Victoria can we leave?”
“Yes of course” Victoria replied, taking her purse
As we were heading out I saw Alice’s eyes look into mine with powerlessness. I didn’t like drama so this was too much for me.
Me and Victoria went in front of the apartament complex without saying a word.
“Do you want to come to my place?” Victoria suggested
“Yes actually”
We took a cab and in about 10 minutes we were in Victoria’s beautifully decorated apartment.
“Do you want a glass of wine?”
“No, thank you”
I felt horrible, maybe from all the drinking and the adrenalin I guess but I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed.
“Hey can I take a shower?”
“Of course. I will give you clothes to change into and then we can go to bed and talk about everything tomorrow, okay? ”
“That would be nice, thank you”
Victoria was being a good friend like she had always been and I was very grateful to have her at that moment.
I love taking showers. The hot almost burning water relaxes every muscle in my body, warming my skin, rincing me of all my worries and taking me to a place of empty thoughts.
* * * * * * * *
Lately I’ve been feeling down. I am tired all the time, I want to sleep all day, I don’t feel like doing things that I usually love. I’m hungry but my appetite is low. I feel like I only breathe enough air to survive. There’s heaviness in my chest. I often take big gulps of air in fear I might suffocate. Is this normal?
A lot has happened in the past two months.
Throughout my life I have been left by different people: family, friends, acquaintances… I feel the need to be best at everything just to win somebody’s interest in me, to feel like I am valued, needed… and when I just can’t be good at everything I feel like I start to crumble and slowly break. So I overwork myself, I give all my energy to be better and better not having in mind my own self.
I brake myself. And I can’t change that… I try, I try at everything but I feel like I don’t really value myself. Why do I give my all and not keep anything to myself. I feel misunderstood, used and weak. I don’t need people’s approval, I just need love, some kind of love… I need someone to do what I do for other people but I know I need to do that for me.
I breathe in heavily every 10 minutes, I am weak, I am miserable, I am suffocating, I am hurt, I am insecure, I don’t value myself…. Why am I doing this? How can I change it? I need help. I am reaching out but it seems like I can’t reach that far. Is this goal too hard to complete?
My shoulders rest down, my jaw is clenched, my heart is worn out, my legs are weak, my head is light, my eyelids dropping heavily…
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this chapter is a little different because i will be going deeper into the character's personalities in the future
thank you for reading :)
YOU ARE READING
one kiss, one day (girlxgirl)
RomanceThis is a short story about a dream that I had the night before Christmas. And you know how they say... if you remember a dream it means that it is important and will impact your life in some way, well ... we'll see...
