•for Savannah•
Riley
The dark of my room became the usual. With the blankets up to my chin, I turned over on my side to get comfortable. I was biting my lip, something I always did while thinking about something. An unbreakable habit.
Then, light poured in through the bedroom door. I squinted my eyes at the sudden brightness. My eyes had gotten so used to the dark, that it took them a while to start up again when it came to light. "Get up. Sooner or later, people are gonna notice you haven't been anywhere in weeks. They'll wonder and begin to think I did this to you. I'll lose my money." Celine, who I refuse to call my mother, said hastily.
Obviously, she didn't care what she said around me anymore. Like she hardly did before my dad died. She had no respect for me, again, like she hardly had before. Now, she's just embracing it.
After I didn't respond, she threw the blankets off of me. I looked at her groggily, planning what I should do next. There was no telling what she'd do to me if I didn't get up, so I sat up, and stomped out of the room. I ended up in the bathroom. My mind was telling me I needed a shower, I guess.
As I got ready for my shower, I looked down at my wrists. They were clean, though I had thought about what I could do to them. Every time I did think about it, I shook the thought away. Pretty fast, actually. Just like the other times, I shoot it away.
I had no plans for the day, just like the other days. The only plans I had were to lay in bed, in the dark, sulking on. So, as I got dressed, I noticed that Celine had opened the curtains up because apparently, it was too dark in my room. I stared out the window, seeing the sky for the first time in, what, days? I saw how the dark blue slowly, but noticeably, faded into a light blue. It was like the colors of two different eyes. One as blue as the ocean, the other as light as cool blue ice.
Then, I saw the grass. It was dark green and fresh. The kind of dark green that you wouldn't use on a coloring sheet of you had the choice, but beautifully used in the world of nature. Next, I saw the clouds. They looked like the kind of clouds you would find in a mural. Perfectly drawn and colored. Puffy and clean. I saw the bright colors of the flowers. All pink, blue, and purple.
As I looked at the beauty of the world, only a fraction of it, I began to hate the world even more. It was a trick. The bright colors and amazing fades and shades were just an illusion. Something to draw you into thinking the world was perfect. Right when you fall into the trick, it sucks the life out of you and makes you hate yourself and the world. I had fallen for this trick. The World's Trick. It was all lies. The world was beautiful, but horrifying at the same time.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by nothing in particular. I had my comfortable clothes on, so I was ready to lie down and sulk again. I lay down, ready to cry or sleep or something usual.
Instead, I fell asleep. And I woke up to a huge crashing sound. I looked out the window, pushing the curtains aside. On the ground was a boy. He had knocked our trash can over while skateboarding.
Something about him, maybe his hair, or the way he got up, made me want to go out and see if he was okay.
I rushed downstairs and out the door before he could go. "Wait! Um, are you okay?" I said it, scared of what he might respond with. I was crazy; I didn't even know this boy, but yet, I was going out of my way to see if he was okay.
"Uh, yeah." He said, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked down at his shoes as if he were embarrassed. "Do I know you?" He added, looking back up. His face was slightly familiar. Only slightly. "Um, I'm Riley McKee. I-I don't know if you know me..." I said. "Oh that's right! Your dad d-uh, past away right? And you haven't been to school since." he said, with realization clear on his face.
"Yeah, um, that's me." I said looking down. Being reminded by someone else about the tragedy was even worse than me constantly reminding myself. I guess he noticed my trying not to cry, because he said, "Oh, I-I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I shouldn't have mentioned it. I should go now."
I looked up as he was walking away. "No, no it's okay. It's just, I didn't know how many people really knew about that." I said. He turned back around, smiled a fraction of a smile, and said "I'm Ashton, by the way."
I had a fragment of the fraction of a smile Ashton had on when he told me his name. I ran up the steps and back to my room.
I fell asleep once more, but this time, I dreamt. I dreamt of the colors of everything. I dreamt of the secrets the world keeps from us. But, I also dreamt of Ashton.
I realized, while dreaming, that without the trick the world pulls on us, we wouldn't be able to tell how great things truly are, after the trick. Though, the trick was still being pulled on me. There was three phases in this trick.
1.) Fake and fragile beauty: the color phase.
2.) Sadness, and deep despair: the black and white phase.
3.) Constant reminder of phase two, but happy enough to see the real color in everything: the true beauty phase.
It may sound cheesy, but it's what I believe in.
--
A/N
There's Ashton♡
Riley got deep with color..
Chapter dedicated to: i-will-be-legendary
I love her and her stories to death♡
Thxtsoluke
