Something Different

7 Are You Bored Yet

I laid in bed in boredom. I yawned, I just woke up and I'm alone right now.

Judah went to find a job and I feel lazy to go with him, earlier I decided to go find a decent job too but my diarrhea came inside the picture.

I scour my head in frustration of the silence. I grabbed my phone and opened the data. I made myself an account to access scrolling.

When all was done, strangers adding mrle flooded. I came up on a video of singing people and more song covers until the crave to make myself one too.

I stood up, Pepsi glanced at me and went back to sleeping. I rolled my eyes at him. What a lazy dog.

I took the guitar and started strumming on the chords I know. In Wheeltown Gates, I was hated. As well as the people who sorrounds me. I wasn't
taught how to do guitar. I figured it by watching my classmates.

Until my music professor heard me singing. He then secretly print out music chords for me. He never told me why but he just give me some advices, techniques and chords without saying anything.

It kept on happening until he moved to a new school and left.

I caressed the guitar. I started to take a video too. I start to strum and strum.

"I bet you thought your life would change
But you're sat on a train again
Your memories are sceneries
For things you said but never really meant
You build it too high to say goodbye
Because you're not the same as them
But your death, it won't happen to you
It happens to your family and your friends, I pretend." I sang on a calm and soothing voice.

Singing is a gift to me, but I never had an aspiration to show it to anyone in that filty place.

From the very start, why do we love to show our talents even when we know no one is actually interested and will just kill your hidden spark?

Why?

"And I always wanna die sometimes
I always wanna die sometimes
You win, you lose, you sing the blues
There's no point in buying concrete shoes, I refuse."

Because we love the pain. We embrace the judgements.

That's why even though it's clearly showing that on one is interested in you. In me.

"And I always wanna die sometimes
I always wanna die sometimes
I always wanna die."

"Am I me through geography?
A face collapsed through entropy
I can hardly speak
And when I try, it's nothing but a squeak
On the video, living room for small
If you can't survive, just try."

I once was told that: my mother is a great singer.

She was a singer and a prostitute. The Governor on that filty town showed interest in her because of her voice.

I continue to sing thru the ending and the video is still running.

"And I always wanna die sometimes
I always wanna die
Always wanna die
Always wanna die
Always wanna die
And I always wanna die
Always wanna die
Always wanna die sometimes
Sometimes
Sometimes
Sometimes
I sometimes always wanna die
Always wanna die
Always wanna die
Always wanna
Sometimes."

Pepsi remained quiet as well as the surrounding that was why the video taken was good and clear quality. I decided to put it in facebook just to have something in my newsfeed. I also added a profile picture but it's a picture of Pepsi sleeping.

I put back the guitar when I noticed it started raining. Good thing I did not left any clothes outside.

I flinched when I felt the hot water got poured in my hand. I placed the kettle nicely and washed my hand with cold water. I feel lightheaded today that's why I feel like floating.

My hand is red from the burn. I went to check the cupboards for toothpaste to apply to my burn. I checked all cupboards but I couldn't find it and Judah was the one who cleaned the whole appartment yesterday.

I thought of calling him but I realized he does not even have a phone so I decided to get dresed and go out. Maybe buy Ice cream on the road too? Hmm. when have I last ate Ice cream?

"Pepsi, come on." I called on the dog on my way out. His tail wagged and followed me.

I locked the door and went out of the building. The building here in my appartment is a bit old but can still survive a lot of storms and shakes.

The appartment is 26 storey tall, each floor hallway has a lot of bystanders and kids but it wasn't a bad kind of busy hallwaya like in the movies since it's peaceful and bystanders only remain on the hallway to play on their mobile phones.    

Maybe the signal here is nicer than inside and they kept on talking about 'midlanes', 'bottom lanes', 'Take the lord' and 'turrets' it seemed a nice game since even girls play it.

Pepsi and I went to stop by the convient store, he waited outside and I bought Ice cream, the toothpaste I need, chocolates for me and Pepsi. Pepsi sat still outside waiting for me to come out.

His tail wagged when I came out I noticed Judah is standing beside my dog. He scoured the back of this ears, a manerism he does when he feels shy.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Hi Mailey." I said to him. I passed by him and sat on the vacant love seats. I whistled a little and Pepsi followed me.

Judah seated with us too.

"Did you find yourself a job?" He sighed and shooked his head while looking away. He even turned red. What the hell?

Is he shy because he didn't find himself a job? Well, in that case it's fine. I don't mind.

It's actually good since I'll then have someone to be left at home when I leave and do deals.

"No," He whispered and I laugh a little.

"Cool." I just said while starring at the sunset. Did I mention that the convenient store is facing the bay?

Yep, that is why the sunsetting is so cool. I get to enjoy it with Pepsi and someone... I just met.

I caught him looking intently at me. My heart thug and beated so fast after, I can feel it again. the tickles inside my system.

I even caught him gulp while his lips is shinning in my eyes. Something in me is telling me to kiss him.

What the hell Arahera? I don't even knws how to kiss!

I inadventently slap the table in embarassment of my own lewd thought. Wait, is kissing considered lewd? I mean yeah, I've seen Monroe's men indulged kissing with prostitutes but is kissing actually lewd?

Judah jump a bit at the hit I gave the poor table.

"Why?" He asked carefully. I shook my head.

Arahera, why are we like this? It's not so usual of us.

The sunset wasn't helping at all because my heart is now beating too much. Judah is holding my hand and checking the burn I had.

He examined it and started rubbing it. I am supposed to feel malice, shy or even mad because he is touchig me. But no.

In fact all I feel is. . . my heart beating, the tickles in my system. I feel happy. Enjoying the feeling to be exact.

When Judah let go of my hand I feel like I lost something inside me...

Why are we like this Hera?