Of Monsters And Men

Two Guardian Angels Walk Into A Bar

"One pint, please."

The bartender slid it over with a knowing smile, taking in the familiar weariness in Phil's face. "Kids?"

"You don't know half of it," he muttered, trailing his fingertips around the rim before taking a deep swig. The bartender snorted in reply before turning to serve another patron, leaving the hybrid to nurse his drink alone.

Despite the drunken bustle of the tavern, Phil felt like he'd caught a quiet moment for the first time in months. He didn't regret taking in Tommy, quite the opposite, but the cow hybrid had a unique talent for finding the thing that irked someone the most and exploiting it repeatedly until you wanted to punch him in the face. There were only so many of the teenager's sleepless nights Phil could take, only so many plants bursting through his floorboards or dagger marks in the walls for where the twins had attempted murder. He hated to think of the state of the house when he got back, but it had been a year goddammit, he deserved a break. He took another long sip.

"Troublesome swarm?"

He startled at the voice, the figure that shifted into the seat beside him having gone unnoticed. The person was swaddled in a dark cloak that cast a shadow across their face, a sword proudly strapped across their back. Diamond, enchanted. But it was the two glowing white eyes that peeked from under his hood that piqued Phil's interest.

"I haven't seen another phantom hybrid around here for years."

"Well, how long has it been since you last visited?"

Phil chuckled. "About a year."

"Oh! We moved in quite a few months ago now, almost a year too!"

"We?"

"Me and Skeppy. He's my swarm."

"Just one?"

"Well, I did have another, but he and Skeppy had a falling out a while back, and moved off to his own server. I still visit him sometimes..." He trailed off, glowing eyes casting a wistful light onto the window. "How about you? Oh, and I just realised I never told you my name! It's Bad, by the way. Badboyhalo."

"Philza. And I have three chaotic gremlins for my swarm. This is the first time I've taken a break since Tommy came along."

"Oh! I think I've heard of Tommy before. He's that kid who was causing trouble in the marketplace the other day with his friend, right? He swore at me!"

Phil grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. "That's Tommy alright. Sorry about that, by the way, he lacks any sort of self-control. And sometimes self-preservation as well, with the number of times I've had to haul him out from some stupid contraption."

"He sounds a lot like Skeppy. He's a strider hybrid, but thanks to his double hybrid heritage, he can walk on basically anything. The number of times I've found him sticking our furniture to the ceiling..." He exchanged a quick look over his shoulder, eyes quickly narrowing at something on the far side of the tavern. Phil followed his gaze to see a short, black-haired boy sitting cross-legged on the wall. "Skeppy! Get down from there, you muffin head!"

Skeppy stuck his tongue out in response but still walked down and onto the floor, taking a seat at a chair as a normal person would.

"I'm sorry about that, as I was saying, he can be a handful and then some."

"Yeah, my twins have two hybrid parents. The messes they still manage to get into..."

Bad chuckled lightly and took a sip of his drink. Phil watched him carefully. "Pardon me, but you don't seem like the sort of guy that would drink."