Can Yaman International Presents: "If Only..." (Inspired by Erkenci Kus)

Chapter 11.

At the end of Chapter 10:  His hope of getting in and out of London unscathed wasn't going to happen. Whether Polen had intended for the whole thing to happen or not, it seemed to Can like it was a well-organized plan. The next day, there it was on the front page of the entertainment section of the newspaper. Front and center. The photo took up a quarter of the page. He was further greeted with the night's event making the entertainment news on TV with the added speculation of a possible reconciliation of the former couple. He hoped the damage and the fallout from this unwanted publicity had not already been done. 

(Author's Note: Please read to the end of the chapter and give us your comments about it. Do you like the storyline? The characters? Don't forget to vote too. Thank you!)

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It wasn't that Sanem didn'tlike autumn. It just meant that winter was right around the corner and shedidn't really care for it. The season was warmer than usual allowing her tospend her time outside and down on the beach.

Can seemed to have lost interest in make constant phone calls and sending multiple texts. They were down to one a day but she had not received anything for a couple of days. She wasn't quite sure if she felt relieved or anxious, which made her annoyed with herself.

After almost seven months, you'd think I would be getting over it. But we're talking about Can Divit! He was not easy to forget.

Sunday morning... her lazy time. A good cup of çay and a fire in the back garden fireplace. Occasionally on a Sunday, Luca would make an appearance bringing some rolls to with the çay. He was more of a coffee person so he brought his own. This Sunday morning was no exception. There was an easiness in their friendship and something about this face made Sanem feel safe. Coffee, rolls, and the newspaper. Always the same routine. Maybe the predictability of it all was what she liked about it. She knew where she stood with Luca. Maybe this wouldn't change even if she made a mistake.

"Wow! Six months in the Balkan Mountains taking pictures. There's got to be a lot of stories to tell there," Luca said with a laugh. "That takes someone special!"

The blood flooded to her head and pounded there like a drum. Her heart dropped to her stomach. Luca was still talking to her but she was deaf to it. Suddenly she was back to all of her organs shaking and shifting again, just like they had in the opera house.

Luca looked at her with instant concern and asked, "Sanem? Sanem. Hey, are you okay?"

She fumbled trying to get the words out to answer him. "What? Oh, yes. I'm fine. I just can't imagine something like that."

"I know." He said as he thrust the newspaper in front of her. "And this woman. The caption says she's a physicist in London. Look, their picture is printed in the paper. They sure look like a power couple to me."

Sanem couldn't help but look. Can looked thinner. His beard was bushy and a little unkempt but nevertheless, he was still gorgeous. Polen looked her same model-like self, confident and regal standing next to him.

If her eyes could burn anymore from all the tears that she was holding inside, they would surely catch on fire. She snatched up her things, mumbled an excuse of complete nonsense and darted into the house.

Luca reluctantly gathered up his cup and newspaper and left, knowing that something wasn't right. He would come back later and check on her but give her some time. Maybe she would talk to him about why she had become so upset.

Sanem stumbled into the house and locked the door behind her. The tears rolled down her face and she could not stop them. Running into the bathroom, she stripped off her clothes. She turned on the shower on and stood under it, letting the hot water burn her skin and steam fill the room.

Damn him! She always seemed to be crying over him. Would it ever stop? She had to make it stop. Yes, she had told him to go back to his life with Polen. Yet another lie she would have to forgive herself for.

After standing for the longest time shaming and ridiculing herself, the water had turned ice cold. She screamed as she realized it and quickly reached for the knobs and turned off the water. She toweled off and pulled on an oversized T-shirt. Wrapping a towel around her hair, she flopped down on her bed. Was she going to allow Can to knock the breath out of her again as he did before? Polen, Ceyda and Aichan had all flirted deliberately with him in front of her. He had done nothing to put them in their place. She had to be strong and accept the inevitable. That was what this master plan was all about anyway, right?

When she opened her eyes again, her clock said it was 2:00 o'clock in the afternoon. She had slept for three hours. Not what she had planned to do but she had obviously needed it. She unwrapped her hair and combed through it, letting it dry the rest of the way on its own. She liked the natural wavy look, like when it was dried by the wind.

She made a salad and grabbed the book she had been reading. She propped herself up on the sofa to read. Totally engrossed in the book, she did not notice the time and got up to turn on the light. It was already 7:00 o'clock. She heard a knock on the door.

Who can that be? She opened the door to see Luca standing there.

"Hi there. You doing okay?" he asked, squinting his eyes as if he was examining her.

She assured him she was fine and asked if he wanted a glass of wine. Accepting her offer, he came in and sat at the kitchen table. He told her he came by earlier but didn't get an answer and he was worried. She told him he must have come while she was taking a nap because she didn't hear him. They talked a moment before he came right to the point.

"Why did that story about that photographer upset you so bad this morning?" he asked.

Well, let's just get straight to it then. "He is the reason that I'm here," she answered with a sigh, barely able to speak the words.

"I kind of thought as much," Luca said. "Was that lady the reason you broke up?"

Sanem drew in a breath and said, "No. Actually, she is his ex-girlfriend. Or maybe his current girlfriend. I don't really know."

Squinting his eyes as he looked at her, Luca asked, "Is he the one that calls and texts you every day and you don't answer?"

"Yes, he is," said Sanem.

"Well, trust me," replied Luca. "That is not the actions of a man that has moved on. Look, you can tell me as little or as much as you want to right now. I'm not going to push you. But at some point, you're going to have to talk about it or it will eat you up inside. When you're ready, I'm a pretty good listener."

"Okay, just not tonight. I don't want to talk about it tonight." she replied.

Luca stood to leave and pulled her close to his body and just held her there. His arms were strong and inviting and she knew he wanted to be her protector.

She stepped away from him, smiled and asked, "Can we talk tomorrow?"

He slowly nodded and started for the door telling her "Goodnight."

Sanem closed the door after him, thinking how his arms had felt around her. Maybe it was time to finally confide in someone. What did she have to lose? She had pretty much lost everything already. She would think about it.

The next morning was in chaos. She was running late and she hated to be late or having to rush. She would have to put off calling her sister Leyla until that evening.

It had been a slow day at the bookstore so she was able to get caught up on a lot of things. She was just locking up when her phone pinged. 

"Sanem? I'm home. Please call me." 

Before she had walked the short distance home, Leyla had called her again. Sanem answered with, "Hello, sister. How are you?"

Leyla responded, "Sanem, Can is home."

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This is a work of Fan Fiction inspired by the characters of "Erkenci Kus". All photos, videos and characters belong to their rightful owners.

Written for Can Yaman International by Virginia Dewberry; @grannydew on Wattpad.

Edited by Mary Bloyd, Resident Editor for Can Yaman International.