A Little Time to Get to You

just not working

"Nins! Nini babe, you've gotta stop power-walking. I am not in the right shoes for this." Kourtney yells after me as I book it out of East High. I roll my eyes and lag behind just a little, but when I see Ricky fast approaching us, I pick up my pace again.

"Nins slow down! Do you need a ride?" I hear Ricky's voice call out and when I reach the end of the school's sidewalk, I frantically look for my ride home. "NINI!" Ricky yells as Kourtney catches up with me and she places a hand on my arm. "EJ's picking you up isn't he?" She asks, slightly out of breath and I nod, looking back to the road relieved to see a grey car pulling up to the school. "Nini in Ricky's defense, I know I shouldn't defend him, but he didn't know that he'd get Troy and that you'd get Gabriella in the musical. He just..." I know she's trying to defuse the situation and I look at her. "He just didn't think! He never thinks. And I'm so fucking over it!" I say in complete irritation and another voice adds itself to the mix.

"Woah there, have you not eaten in a while?" EJ grins, his open car window allowing him to hear my entire outburst. I laugh nervously and watch as EJ gets out of his car and makes his way over to me to grab my backpack and peck my cheek. He acknowledges Kourtney kindly and waits for my answer. "No I just..." I trail off, unable to really explain.

"NINI!" Ricky's voice comes again and I straighten up, wincing a little. "Nini I didn't think I'd get the lead. I'm sorry! I just thought that I'd get some background part and we'd be able to talk again and you'd see that I still... I still lo... that everything would go back to normal."

I whirl around to face him, tears prickling my eyes.

"Ricky I don't know how else to remind you that you did this. You caused this complete destruction of our relationship because... I don't know why actually. I really don't know why and I'm tired of caring." I wipe at my eyes furiously, not worrying about whether or not I smudge my makeup. Ricky looks completely heartbroken and I feel EJ's hand on my arm, squeezing gently. "Come on Nini, let's get you home." EJ says gently and I give him a little nod before waving to Kourtney and following my new boyfriend to the car.

***

EJ pulls into my driveway, putting the car in park. He turns to look at me, silence still completely present until he breaks it. "That's him right? The best friend turned boyfriend turned ex?" EJ asks me gently and I nod mutely. I watch as he nods, a sad smile spreading onto his lips. "Nini I really like you. I know you like me too. But... I think you love him. And I think he loves you too." He says and my eyes widen, tears filling them up as I see the direction this is going in. "No EJ..." he cuts me off and grabs one of my hands. "I don't want you to feel pulled between two people, I don't want you to feel conflicted every time you kiss me. That's not fair to either of us Nini. I think we should stay friends until you figure all of this out." He tells me softly. I feel defeated, so I nod mutely again, too scared that if I say anything I'll cry. "Promise you'll talk to him. There's so much unresolved there." He tells me and I meet his eyes, ignoring his plea for me and Ricky to reconcile. "Does this mean we can't hang out anymore either?" I ask in a small voice and he shakes his head. "No! It doesn't at all. I go to college in three weeks, so I think we should hang out more." He laughs and I give him a weak smile, unbuckling my seatbelt so that I could lean into him and wrap my arms around him. "Thank you EJ. I'm sorry that..." he cuts me off, his hand rubbing my back gently. "Don't apologize Nini. Some things are just meant to be, and when you try to ignore it, it just gets worse." I nod and burry my face in his sweatshirt. "I'm so glad I met you." I mumble into the fabric and he chuckles, running a hand down my arm. "Likewise Nini." I smile genuinely for the first time since we left school. "Do you want to come in and watch a movie?" I ask and he grins, pulling away. "I thought you'd never ask."

***

I avoid Ricky as much as I can throughout the school day the next day. When I see him in the hallways I look down at my phone. When we pass each other in a classroom I pull my arm in close to my body so that we don't touch. Even when we get to the auditorium for theater rehearsal I pretend that he doesn't exist.

Until Miss Jen notices that Ricky is basically acting with a wall.

"Are they always like this?" I hear her mumble to her choreographer, a junior boy who's been in theater for as long as I could remember. He shakes his head but it might be in disbelief as he watches Ricky and I barely unable to rehearse our lines with one another, let alone look at each other like humans.

"Okay! Okay this isn't working!" Miss Jen claps, getting the attention of the other pairs rehearsing with one another in the room. I look up expectantly and she points to our circle of desks. "Everyone take a seat with your pair. We're going to do a table read. Basically get used to the script, to warm up with the group and feel more comfortable with one another."

I take a deep breath, moving towards a seat and I watch as Ricky plops down in the one next to mine. "Join hands." Miss Jen announces and everyone does so, except for me and Ricky. Although, Ricky does hold out a hand for me and I have to contain my eyes from popping out of my head. "Nini hon, join hands with Ricky." She says and I shake my head once, hopefully channeling all of my pleas into one look but she ignores it and waits for me to hold hands with Ricky. Shakily, I raise a hand and put it in Ricky's, immediately warming at the feeling and fighting back the tears that threatened to make themselves known. Even his hand was familiar. And I missed it so damn much. Because EJ was right. I still loved him.

I train my eyes on my script as the table read begins. I don't make eye contact with anyone and I try to pretend like Ricky's hand that I'm holding is actually EJ's. Never would I have ever imagined that I'd hope that, but it was taking my attention off the slight ache in my heart.

It's impossible to think about EJ's hand though when Ricky's large one envelopes mine so gently. It's impossible to take my thoughts off of the way I notice Ricky's eyes continue to flick down to our joined hands. It all felt so overwhelming.

"Nini hon, say your line." Miss Jen breaks the trance of all of the young actors and I flush in embarrassment as I'm broken from my thoughts. "Sorry" I mumble before speaking my line quickly. I don't hear anyone follow me with their line though, and I risk a look up to Miss Jen. She sees how emotional I look and her facial expression softens. "I know I'm kinda important, but can I be excused?" I ask quietly and she nods immediately. I move to close my script but before I can stand I feel Ricky's hand squeeze mine gently. His thumb rubs against my knuckles and I resist the urge to cry further. I pull my hand from his, grab my bag and make my way past the group.

"I'll read her lines for her Miss Jen. She's going through a tough time so I want to help her." I hear as I pass through the tables. I recognize the voice, EJ's cousin Ashlyn no doubt probably assuming that I was upset about the breakup. "That'd be great Ashlyn. Everyone deserves a little bit of a break when they're going through something." Miss Jen claps and stands up. "That's why I think we should end the table read for today. We got through Act 1 so I'm proud of that and we'll reconvene tomorrow." She announces to the rest of the group.

I sigh and wish that didn't have to be the case.