A sister's Grief

Raph's Suffering, April's Understanding

A/N: This idea is from NewYearsGirl! I  decided to add some more chapters into this book!

*Offers tissues because this is going to be emotional*

~*~

Raph took a shuddering as he entered the lair. It had been several days since the Hamato family learned Miley's secret, so they've all been supporting her and dealing with the loss.

But Raph has been struggling more than usual. He had witnessed his father's brutal death with his own eyes. He'd been right there, watching everything. Powerless to help.

He couldn't help blaming himself. He had just stood there, watching Splinter die. He couldn't help him, he couldn't do anything. It just happened so fast. Raph had failed.

The hot-head buried his face in his arms, trying to keep his tears at bay. He'd decided that he'd cried way too much in the last few months and tried to suppress his emotions.

Raph then heard footsteps. April had walked in, her ocean blue eyes filled with concern. "Raph?" She placed her hand on his shoulder. "H-Hey April..."

Raph looked at her, quickly wiping his eyes even though it was obvious that he'd been crying. "Are you okay?" April asked quietly, looking at him.

Raph nodded. "I'm fine April, it's been months...I'm fine." He thought he shook be over it by now. But the pain and grief still hurt just the same.

April seemed to understand. "It's okay if your still hurting...remember what my dad said? We won't get over grief, we get through it...it's fine if you want to cry."

Raph looked away for a moment, trying to hold back his tears with no avail. April hugged him, feeling tears brim in her own eyes as they both hugged, letting go of their grief.

"I was right there, I...I shoulda done somethin'!" Raph said through his tears. "I could have saved him!" April sighed, feeling him shake in her arms.

"It wasn't your fault Raph, there was nothing that could done...it all just happened so fast." April murmured, brushing her own tears away with her free hand. "It wasn't your fault..."

Raph didn't say anything more. He just cried. April hugged him, crying with him. They both missed Master Splinter terribly. They knew what they had to do...

A few hours later, the pair arrived at the farmhouse. They were kneeling in front of Splinter's grave. April placed some Flowers down on it, smiling sadly as she and Raph looked at it.

"Hey sensei..." Raph mumbled. "I...I really miss you, okay? Things have been hard since you've been gone and...and it's just been really hard..."

He spoke to Splinter's grave, feeling not so along with April at his side. Tears trickled down the hot-head's cheeks as he took a deep breath.

"I...I really miss you...you were one of the few people I could go to when I had a nightmare or just wanted someone to talk to, you always understood me..."

April frowned, reaching out to put her hand on Raph's carapace as a form of comfort, letting him know that he wasn't alone and that she was there. Raph gave her a small smile in return.

"I...I need you dad, I really need you..." Raph started crying softly. "I've been trying to be strong for my brothers and sister, but it's almost impossible...I can't do it..."

April's frown deepened. It never occurred to her how much Raph was really struggling. "I...we saw you die, right I'm front of us...!" Raph's head hung low. April whimpered a little.