All these years (Camren)

Chapter One - Friends don't kiss their friends (Part 2)

A/n: I said I would update the story on Wednesday but I guess I just really hate sticking to dates so enjoy this early update. Hope you guys like it :)

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"You still think about her don't you?", were the words that pulled Camila out of her thoughts. Shawn was standing at the door looking at her.

"You know how hard it has been for me, Shawn", she replied not meeting his eyes.

"You need to let go, Camila. She didn't make you happy and if we're honest she never will. Maybe you're too blind to see what's right in front of you.", he said scratching his head.
Camila's breath hitched hearing his words. Was he trying to tell her how he felt about her?

"Can we just not talk about all this now? I promise after my performance tomorrow we'll talk but please not now I'm nervous enough", Camila said almost crying.

Shawn's eyes softened seeing how hurt she still was "I'm sorry, I just hate seeing you like that", he said hugging her.
Shawn made her feel safe, he made her feel wanted but Camila started to think that she could never accept loving anyone else than the green eyed beauty.

After crying in his arms for what felt like forever Camila finally got back to rehearsal.
It had to be perfect. She would regret it her for the rest of her life if anything went wrong.
Maybe Lauren didn't deserve it but that didn't stop her. She wanted to feel all of it as strongly as she could for one last time. One last time she needs to see Lauren and tell her everything she was afraid to admit when they were younger.
She replayed the moments in her head. Hotel rooms and backstage passes. Wet kissed and warm hugs. Long nights and tired days. The moonlight shining on her face leaving Camila breathless. She was as beautiful as the moon. La Luna or simply Lauren. It made no difference to her.
Counting stars and naming one of them Ava, that's what Lauren would name her child if she would ever have a daughter. Camila remembers the butterflies in her stomach knowing it was their star. She hoped Lauren would want to have a daughter with her.
They would call her Ava and maybe Ava could have a brother so they would name him Javier, Lauren always loved that name.

Camila used to fantasize about their future a lot even though she knew that they would probably never have one together.
She remembers holding her hand and thinking how it perfectly fit into hers. Lauren was art and Camila wanted nothing more than being the artist.

She played a dangerous game. She just started to feel better and she was about to confront her heart and mind with the deadliest drug again and that drug was Lauren Jauregui. 
Camila was exhausted, thinking about the past always made her feel some way. She had to be fit for tomorrow so she went to bed with only one thought on her mind "Loving you had consequences".

She dreamed about Lauren hearing her songs for way too long and now the moment was here. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating like it would stop any minute. She got trough the sound check not really realizing what would happen a couple hours later.
She hoped that they wouldn't ask about Lauren during interviews. She was never good at hiding her excitement when it comes to her. Would they ask her about Camila? How would Lauren react? Camila was a puddle of stress and anxiety but a voice in her head told her that Lauren would be worth it. Maybe it wasn't really her head but her heart instead.

The Interviews went well. They didn't ask her about Lauren a part of her was upset about it. Maybe Lauren would look her interview up like Camila always did whenever Lauren gave one. She was the first to perform that night so she had to be backstage and couldn't stay long enough to see Lauren, maybe it was better that way.

Backstage reality hit her. She would sing one of her most vulnerable songs in front of thousands of people but most importantly she would sing it for the person she wrote it about. Camila felt like passing out but she stayed strong. Today would change many things and she knew that she had to own the moment. She had to make it special.
She had to convince Lauren that she was enough and that she had lost her.