Worthwhile: The Sequel (A Jonah Marais Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

"And everything I did I thought that you should be here."

Winter was exhausted from the constant filming going on in her house. At one point, she almost yelled at the camera crew to stop rolling their cameras and leave the house. However, this wouldn't have been possible seeing her publicist, Samantha Dallas, had made her appearance to check on things.

Samantha was the only one Winter had learnt to rely on other than Martha. Plus, she was one of the few people who could convince Winter to do anything against her will. 

Winter was always a very stubborn person.

Dealing with her was like dealing with a kid in a candy store.  

The documentary's director, Lana Wilson - the same one that was directing Taylor's documentary - had jumped to the opportunity of filming the youngest Billboard chart topper's experiences. 

Franny had decided that she would go out and film a vlog while all this filming was happening at the house. It made her uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many cameras. Winter knew about this and guilt consumed her as she was unable to put Franny's discomfort at ease.

The brunette didn't deny that filming a documentary was fun. In fact, she was loving every moment of it. 

But somewhere the privacy that she yearned for when she went on the break was getting lost in the process. Like when she had went over to Esther's house for the sleepover, she was compelled to take the filming crew with her, making Esther uncomfortable.

Today, they were going to be shooting Winter talking about the controversy surrounding the infamous Twitter breakout in 2018.

Winter made herself comfortable on the porch swing in the backyard. Lana sat from across her and cued the filming crew to take their positions. The cameras began rolling and Lana began questioning her.

"So, tell us about the Twitter trend that occurred in 2018?" Lana asked. They were going to the questioning part and just keep the one with Winter narrating.

Winter chuckled, looking back on how foolish it was of her to be so affected by it, "It was horrifying to say the least... Surprisingly, I was sitting right here when Martha called and informed me about it. It impacted my mental health to the extent that I had to go searching for the antidepressants I was prescribed by my therapist. It completely ripped my heart apart... You know how many people have to hate you for that to be trending worldwide?"

Her grey eyes glazed as she recounted the incident, "For someone who has lived for the validation of others, it was a harsh criticism. Most of us are raised in a way that acceptance and appreciation is the only way, we believe, to live our lives... We build our lives up on that foundation... Honestly, reading those tweets made me ponder over everything I had done up to that date. It was as if my life flashed before my eyes..." 

She paused, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. She brushed her wavy brown hair from her face and looked up, blinking rapidly. She exhaled, "Every word that day was like knife through my heart. I had been working for seven years; out of which I spent five years of my teen life in the spotlight, lost."

The sad summer girl reached for the glass of water kept nearby and sipped in an attempt to calm her overwhelming emotions from the past incidents.

"In addition to that, I was dealing with the end to a relationship that was completely based on a lie and... my insecurities... I was devastated. Because at that point it wasn't about the music or controversies or the scrutiny, it was about my self-respect. It was about pointing fingers at my character. It was about being who I really was... So, I did what I thought everyone wanted me to. I took a hiatus..."