Disappointments

01

Our wedding has been one of the best weddings in town . We have been together for almost 9 years. Everything about us was good, we were perfect .

Few days after the wedding I have been having morning sickness, I felt queasy sometimes I would vomit.

My husband suspected that I'm pregnant. Well he always wanted to have a baby, a baby boy but I was on contraceptives. Since we were about to get married I took the IUD out of my uterus so that I can conceive. And now. Here we are not knowing whether there is a baby or not.

"Hi Anita speaking how may I help you ?"
"Hey ma'am I would like to book Dr Morris for a 15:30 appointment tomorrow"
"Fine, I'll put your name down"
"Thank you" 
I made my way to the kitchen. My husband was cooking,well he is the chef of this house. He wont even allow me to cook, he is always in control of the kitchen . Well yeah I've got the best guy a girl could ask for. 
"Honey I've booked us a doctor's appointment for tomorrow" I said taking a piece of the vegan pizza he is preparing. 
"I'm going to work tomorrow" 
"It's a 15:30 appointment, I'm sure you'll be off at that time"
"I'll definitely come sweetheart, I can't wait till I find out about my munchkin" he said rubbing his hands around my stomach . I hit him playfully .
I was skeptical about this pregnancy thing but I hoped it was real because I know how my husband would react about this whole situation.
We enjoyed the rest of the evening, everything was normal, there was nothing eerie. 

[Appointment day]
15:30 I arrive at the hospital , my husband was not there yet. 
15:45 I kept looking at my phone for a message or a call but there was nothing . 
"Doctor I think we must proceed without my husband, maybe he got held up at work"

The doctor proceeded and sprinkled a jelly like substance in my stomach. He used a machine and rubbed it around my stomach.This was one of the most nervous moments I ever had.
"Well Mrs Smith it seems like there is a baby, congratulations" 
"Oh my god , my husband will be so excited to hear this. Thank you doc, will you be able to check the gender of the baby?"

"It's still an early stage so we can't say if it's a girl or a boy"

"Okay thank you once again" the doctor exited the room . Just when I was thinking of sending my husband a message. A call came through. I was so jubilant .
"Hi honey, I'm pregnant" a huge smile was on my face. I was very much excited , excited that I'll make my husband the happiest man. 
"Sorry ma'am your husband has been involved in a car crash at St..."
Lights off .
Everything went blank .

I woke up still in the hospital bed. 
"Sam !" I screamed crying , a nurse came to me . 
"Sorry ma'am please lower your voice , we have patients who are in serious conditions in this hospital"
I cried my lungs out. "Leave me! I just want my husband, I want my love . Sam!" I continued. Dr Morris came through, "Ma'am we're sorry about what happened to your husband but he didn't make it" I couldn't hold my self I was crying like no one cares . I've never been this much devastated, its been few weeks since we got married. And now this happened.

"Shouldn't we be happy, celebrating the life of our unborn child" this crept in my mind.

"I cannot afford to loose him, I can't do this alone . Doctor please do something , bring my husband back" 
"Don't stress or you'll lose the baby , calm down" the next thing the doctor injected me, everything went blank . 

It's been months since my husband died, I was now living with my in-laws there was no way a pregnant woman could live on her own. I was on my 9 month and I was expecting my baby anytime . I experienced everything about pregnancy, this was the worst pregnancy . I always imagined my first pregnancy with my husband but he was no longer there with me and there was nothing I could do.

On the 23rd of October , I gave birth to a baby boy. Just as my husband has wished , our first child was a boy. I just wished he could see how things turned. I spent days not knowing which name I'll give to my baby . 
He looked exactly like his father. 

I dont want to forget about our love story

" Your name is Sam "I gave him his father's name . That's the best thing to give him since he doesn't recognise his father's love. 
We missed him but we had to let him go. 
I'm now left with my bouncy baby boy. He looked so cute , all the pains in the maternity ward were worthy it .