Coward | 𝒞𝐻𝐸𝒩𝒥𝐼

eight

It's been a week since Chenle got comatose.

It's also been a week since I frequently visit him on the hospital but he's still not awake. I always bought him fruits even though he can't eat it. I comb his hair everyday so he won't complain that he looks like a mess when he finally wake up.

I remembered telling him these words while doing it:

"Do you know that you're so pretty? But you'll be more prettier if you open your eyes, so please, wake up now." I'll kiss his forehead after that and do my assignment or stare at him until I fell asleep.

I miss Zhong Chenle.

Even though I can see his face everyday, I still miss him.

I want to hear his voice again. I don't care if he scold and shout at me everytime.

I just wanna hear his voice. Crazy, right?

I stopped from walking when I saw Han Sook and Nam Joo outside the school's gate.

I tightened the grip on the bracelet I'm holding and they started teasing me after they noticed it.

"To whom will you give that bracelet? To your friend that is going to die?" Han Sook asked. That made my blood boil.

I clenched my fist and have the urge to punch him.

How dare him to say that? Chenle's not going to die!

"What kind of friend are you? You lied and betrayed him. Now you feel guilty so you buy him bracelet and visit him everyday? Why did you betrayed him anyway? Just because you're scared of us?"  He asked.

My jaw clenched.

Yeah. I got scared. I'm a coward. So I can't do anything but to take all the blame now.

"Please don't bother me again.." I said with a broken voice.

"Don't bother Chenle again." I look at Han Sook one last time before I leave.

I hate him. I hate him for bullying me and I hate myself more for being coward.

Maybe if I became braver, Chenle is still standing beside me right now.

When I arrived at the hospital, I immediately saw Chenle's mom outside Chenle's room, and her tears won't stop from falling.

I suddenly got a hunch because it's the first time I saw her cry after she arrived on the hospital. My heart starts beating faster as I got nervous, but I still manage to ask Mrs. Zhong the reason why she's crying.

I suddenly became deaf.

My heart shattered into pieces and the bracelet I bought for Chenle slip down from my hands.

My lips parted and I unconsciously took my step backwards. My tears fell.

"He's dead, Jisung... Chenle already leave us." Mrs. Zhong said.

I shook my head as I burst into tears.
This is not true..

Please wake me up.

***