Because of what happened, Chenle completely ignored me.
I want to talk to him, say sorry and explain myself, but I'm too coward to approach him so I remained distant from him.
I'm so stupid. I lied and betrayed him.
I don't even know why I did that. I deserve not to be call his friend. I deserve his cold treatment. He didn't do anything wrong. All he did was to help a coward like me. Why did I betray him?
I halted from walking when I saw him stopped.
He get his phone from his pocket and immediately answer the call. I remained standing a few steps away from him and look away so he wouldn't notice that I was following him.
I don't want to listen to the conversation he's making with the person on the call but the place was too silent that I heard his voice clearly.
My heart shattered into pieces.
It's his mom and they are talking about the expulsion.
"Mom, I told you, don't worry about me. I'm just going to be expelled, I'm not going to die. What now if there's no more school that will accept me even if you'll pay them a half million? I'm not a kid anymore, I can work and handle myself. Please don't worry too much mom, just take care of yourself. I already gave you too much stress, I'm such a bad kid." He bit his lower lip and continue.
He just said I love you and immediately ended the call. He didn't even say goodbye.
I can see how his shoulder move upward and downward and I swear my heart breaks seeing him cry.
I clenched my fist tight.
I'm so selfish. I got scared and threw him the blame. Just with the idea that he's crying because of me, it stabbed my heart a million times.
I can't take this anymore. I want him to finish his studies. He's my friend. I don't want him to be expelled.
I turn my back and starts walking to go back to our school. I'm going to tell our instructor that he's not really the one who get the test key.
I'm now willing to be brave to correct the wrong that I made,
But.. I'm too late.
I can hear my heart beating so fast as I heard the panic of the crowd behind me.
My forehead sweat and my lip shivers when I look at Chenle's direction and saw him lying on the middle of the street, bathing with his own blood.
My mouth hang open and all I can do right now is to shook my head twice.
N-No.. This is not true.
I took a step backward and didn't take my eyes off him. I want to run towards him, but my knees gave up. I keep on wishing that this was all just a dream.
I didn't know how minutes have passed that I was just staring at his unconscious body. I only got back to my senses when I heard the ambulance approaching, and manage myself to stood up to come with them.
There's no way that Chenle would be dead. He's brave, right?
He can't die without hearing and accepting my sorry.
***
