Securing The Bag (The Lagos Hustle)

Anger Issues

KANAKU

Life as a thug is hard. Although there are different seasons with different opportunities which you have to recognize or be smart enough to create, but the truth is that in the long run, the struggle is real. I like to believe I'm well feared from Mushin to Shitta and this respect has its own perks, like I could always expect to get weed for free and I'm assured of taxing at least one or two people to take care of my bread and beans breakfast plus jedi and cigga.

"Mtcheeeew" lately I had been sighing and frowning a lot but can you blame me? Decades hustling in these godforsaken streets and what did I have to show for it? everyday a new scheme to survive, to earn small money that didn't even last. The hole digging had worked perfectly fine the other day. I think the three of us had made abaout 7k each, but then, we got to do it only once in a while cause the weather conditions had to be just perfect with the perfect amount of rainfall before Isa did the digging, that was the only way the cars could get stuck.Apart from similar schemes the other way I made money in the street was by good old fashion intimidation.

There was good money in the streets even if it was change, but it was easy come, easier go. You see, I have a daughter, she was just 7 months and her mother, the ever stubborn Barakat had decided it was her life calling to nag me to death until I "did the right thing and married her" She just refused to understand that I had no plans of settling down anytime soon. I could imagine it; the great kanaku, self acclaimed lord of the streets now a loving husband and father. Hahaha, no one would fear me again for sure.It was fine just like this, Barakat and I had been practically living together before she even got pregnant, why complicate things and add a ring? I liked life with her and the baby just fine but the only problem is she had decided to punish me by constantly milking every little money I have to always buy something urgently for the baby. It's always urgent, and God help me if I failed to give her, I won't be able to rest, and when she starts shouting, Ruki will always start crying, and she knew my daughter was the most important thing in my life and I will always do my part and provide.

Which is why I was always angry these days. The small change that used to be enough wasn't cutting it anymore. In fact the small change alone was diaper money these days. I still had to hustle for formula money, clothes money, drug money. And trust Barakat, since I refused to give her what she really wanted, she made damn well sure to collect whatever baby money she asked for. Ask me what she was doing with her life apart from making my life a living hell? I wonder. She's supposed to be a "very good hair stylist." Once in a blue moon, a customer comes to the house....my house, they gist, eat my food, watch my tv and then she finally plaits her hair. I was so cranky I decided to head to the bus park instead of going home.

It was at the bus park I saw the Jjc. It's never hard to spot a jjc, some of them try their best to hide it but if you scrutinize them long enough you'll notice the signs; they never maintain eye contact, they are always restless and they're always unfamiliar with the hood usually cause they don't go out much. This particular jjc had shades on to cover his eyes and was dressed in carrot jean and some fancy footwear. His swag was complete up to the durag and down to his airpods. I had a category for his type, I called them ice cream boys and they were my favourite type of jjc's. How? Just observe;"Fine boy, wettin you dey find?" I barked out from outside Isa's shop where I had been sitting and observing the young fellow. It was obvious he wanted something and I could guess what it was. He looked at me then hurriedly took some relieved steps forward. Merche' the vulcanizer idly observed me from his tree spot prepared for the show since business was slow today.

"weldone bros...please, abeg I dey find...I want buy...errrm arizona"

"How many you wan buy?" I asked.

"Please I need 1k"

I stretched out my hand and he brought out one thousand naira note which I immediately squeezed in my palm. "Suleiman" I called out

My unofficial right hand man appeared in a flash. He was never too far away.Now I could predict what will happen next all too clearly ; "Take this 1k, collect AZ from Baba for this young man, sharp sharp" "sure tin egbon," Suleimon would take the money and dissapear and bring the weed and I'll give the kid and say; "make I hold something for here," or maybe ask; "you no go buy our own?" Either way, maybe he'll drop 5hundred, maybe 1k, then I give suleiman 40% for his troubles. So I go home with how much? I had SmA gold on my mind, frisocreme on my mind, pampers on my mind, lots and lots of pampers. For such small creatures, babies pooped a whole lot.

Unsatisfied with the scenerio, I shook my head and pocketed the 1 thousand naira. "first things first..." Suleimon was looking at me expectantly, ready to follow any direction I play it. I noticed the jjc move from side to side from the corner of my eye, restless. Perfect.

"Suleimon them dey sell weed for here?"

"no officer"

Hahahaha crazy Suleimon called me officer

I looked at the boy, "do you know who I am? you want to buy Arizona from soldier, you will explain yourself in the barracks,"

Normally the boy wouldn't believe this crap, not with my bushy goatie and casual but terrifying face, heck I was even wearing a faded small Pasuma concert t-shirt but then again he had no choice than to believe because he didn't have the balls to challenge this bullshit I'm feeding him. You see how this works? it's all about guts, and if you wanna go far in the streets, you have to learn to say no or else vultures like myself would hustle you to the ground.

I ended up cleaning the boy out of extra 3k. Of course he got his weed, I'm not heartless. Sule got 1k and I went home with 2k, which entered Barakat's claws not long after.

Still it's important to always turn it around and become friends with these people, when you hustle someone once in the streets, you make him your friend. That's because no one likes to be taken a fool for long. Even a coward will fight back after a while. That's why you see crooked police exchange contacts and tell you to call them if you run into trouble, after they finish extorting you.

Same thing happens on the street. After everything I did to him, we smoked one of the 10 wraps and I gave him my phone number. "if anybody bother you on this street, just find me come. You be sure boy, oya na ma guy!"

I found out his name was Jackson and he was lodged in a hotel close by. He had asked around discreetly and been told he could buy dope at the motor park. I saw him like three more times after that day and always taxed him continuously while reminding him I was now in his corner.

Back at home I had figured out a simple recipe that worked and reduced all the nagging. Barakat couldn't complain about anything if the baby was asleep because my small apartment carried voices through the thin walls. So anytime she was about to throw a tantrum or complain about something, I always stopped her with, "shh, the baby's sleeping" And my little girl was just like her old man, she didn't like stress. She just wanted to eat, sleep, play with her fish chewy toy, have a fresh change of diapers and sleep some more. So you see, all my street scheming, intimidation tricks, scowling and frowning and even at times fighting is just to make sure my baby girl is comfortable, cause when she's comfortable I get a little peace.