Stay With Me a While

Part 27

Stevie never thought that so much could happen in four days. When Lindsey called that first time, bringing this whole thing up, she thought that he'd gone mad in his old age. It took her about a week to get back to him, during which she took her time and really thought it through. They weren't getting any younger, neither of them were promised anything. She would have hated herself if something were to happen and she had turned him down, just because she was afraid of an argument or having to face his wife and his children. 

As she was packing her suitcase, Stevie was partly happy about going home. There were only so many times she could fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. She'd always known that she could never truly be friends with the woman, whom Lindsey chose to be his wife. There was a time, when she wanted to have a child and there were still moments, when she regretted putting her career first. However, Lindsey had always wanted a family. So, she was happy for him, she was happy that he got to experience fatherhood and she never held anything against his children, no matter how inconvenient the time was, when Will came. It was something that she could no longer give him, so she made a decision for the both of them, she made him leave. In spite of the nights she'd cried herself to sleep, she knew it was worth it. The smile on Lindsey's face, when one of his kids called him Dad, was worth it.

The evening, night and morning that Stevie and Lindsey spent together alone was also beginning to weigh on her heart. It was wrong, no matter how right it felt, no matter how badly she wanted to feel it again. She needed some time away, she just needed to go home.

A knock on the doorframe caught Stevie's attention. She looked back over her shoulder and smiled at Lindsey lingering in the doorway. "Hey."

"Hey." He pushed himself forward, hands in the back pockets of his jeans, he approached her. "Got everything?"

"Uh, almost. Yeah." Stevie nodded, folding her silk robe, she wore hours earlier that day. 

"Can I keep this?" Lindsey half-joked, she laughed lightly and shook her head.

"It's not your color, Linds." Stevie too replied jokingly. "Could you hand me my journal?" She pointed to the bedside table and Lindsey reached for it. 

Something was sticking out of it and Lindsey dared pulling it out. "You're really taking this?"

"I am, why? You want it back?" 

"No." He shook his head, looking at the picture he'd given her. "No, I just thought that I sounded really silly, when I brought it to you."

"You didn't and it's not silly." Stevie took the picture back from him and put it in between the pages of her journal more securely. "I just never realized something like this could mean so much to you."

"I have my sentimental moments." Lindsey shrugged, a smile tugged at his lips. "Are you sure, you don't want to stay one more night?"

With her full attention on him, Stevie placed her hands on his shoulders. "I'm sure, Lindsey. We both knew that it wasn't going to-"

"To be forever, yeah." Lindsey finished for her with a heavy sigh. 

Lindsey didn't leave, while Stevie packed the last of her items. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, because he could never be certain, something like this could ever happen again. When she was done, he lifted her suitcase off the bed and followed her out of the room. Stevie said goodbye to the kids and to Kristen, who seemed a lot more cheerful now that she was leaving, compared to when she arrived. 

With Stevie's things in the backseat, Lindsey got in behind the wheel as she sat beside him, Sulamith in her lap. They both had a lot on their minds, but neither dared to speak up. Lindsey was afraid to say too much and Stevie was scared that her emotions would get the best of her. 

The drive to Stevie's house was too short even if they didn't talk. Lindsey turned the engine off and Stevie didn't open the passenger's side door right away either. She knew, he wanted to say something, but he sat with his lips sealed. Having a hunch, she asked herself. 

"Would you like to come in for a bit?"