𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 {𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

35: We're Done

(Your POV)

Tom: Y/n, we're done

I put and hand over my mouth and cry shakily. I knew that's what he wanted to say when I left his house, but I just wasn't ready to accept it. I know I can't save this, but I have to try.

Y/n: Tom I swear that isn't me. He's lying, the texts weren't sent by me! I know I sound crazy but I'm not lying!

Sami: come on Y/n, you really think you can get out of this?

*Haz removed you from the group*

"No, no, no" I whisper to myself. More tears spill out of my eyes as I get a text from my smaller group chat with Sami and Mai.

~Over text~

Sami: Hey, I don't want to fight about this, but I was just wondering if you could go back to your apartment in LA? You're done filming for Endgame and you and Tom broke up, just find a flight or something.

Mai: please don't argue, it's our apartment here anyways and you should go

Y/n: fine, but can we please talk about this later? Like when you guys get back from taking pictures?

Sami: We're staying at Tom's house until the morning, can you leave before then?

Y/n: ok, I'll try

Mai: thank you

~Off text~

I wipe my eyes and stand up, legs aching as I walk to my room. I get out the suitcases from my closet and place them on my bed. Looking around I realize that I felt that this room looked nice and put together after the months of setting up, now I have to pack up everything.

First I walk over to my dresser, on top of it are framed pictures from the times I have spent here in Atlanta. On the far left is a selfie of me, Sami, and Mai. It was taken on my first week here, about when me and Tom met. Little did I know back then that being here would change my life. I thought it would have been for the better, but now I'm starting to realize that it didn't.

The second photo is of me and Tom. Mai sneakily took it when Tom and I were kissing. A loose tear falls down onto the glass covering what's now only a memory of what used to be.

A memory

Everything that I had with Tom is just...the past. We aren't dating, but we used to be. We never fought, but now we do. He doesn't love me, but he used to.

With the picture still in my hand I walk across the room and throw it in the trash. Looking back at my dresser I realize all of those pictures are just memories. The one of us at the bowling alley, the one of me trying to figure out how Harry's camera works, and the one of me and Haz singing. None of those will happen again, at least as far as I know.

They all hate me and I know it, I could feel it through the screen. They never want to hear from me again, and I have no reason why they shouldn't. Harrison ruined everything and I don't know why he did it.

Was it because I didn't like him back?

Did I ever do something so terrible to him that I deserve this?

What were his motives?

Questions run through my mind as I continue to pack. I feel numb while doing it too. The last time I packed was when I was leaving LA to come film Endgame. That feels like years ago now. So much had happened since then, and I'm wondering if it was all a mistake.

Maybe Sami and Mai would still want to talk to me. Maybe I wouldn't have Tom Holland himself mad at me. Then again, I wouldn't have been able to get help for my eating disorder.

I ignore the thought and keep packing.

But was this all a mistake?
———————————————
Mai's POV

I can't believe Y/n planned to just leave us like that. I never thought she would do such a thing, but she isn't always an open book. There are many things we don't know about her. I guess we just never noticed.

I also know we weren't the best friends we could have been to her in high school. Of course everyone has a little anxiety and depression when it comes to school but, she was different.

She wasn't one of those people who would pretend to be depresseed to be cool. No, she never told anyone how she felt.

Every little thing made her nervous, but she never told anyone. She was scared to walk down the hall during class if another teacher needed her to. Anytime someone offered to do something for her she would decline, she never wanted to bother someone.

She could never look someone in the eye or sit still. Always messing with her clothes or twiddling her fingers. The thing that scared her the most though, were people's stares. She didn't want to be seen as weird or ugly.

She just wanted to stay with the crowd, no judgment from anyone.

Sami and I never noticed, and we weren't good about it either.

~Flashback (3rd person POV)~

"Look how much my hands shake!" Sami said as she held up her hand, "it's because I'm always so anxious."

Mai holds up her hand as it slightly shakes too, "Me too! Haha I'm so anxious too."

The two girls look at Y/n waiting for her to show her hand. The quiet girl lifts her hand and holds it next to Sami and Mai.

"Oh yours don't shake, but me and Mai's do a lot!" Sami says.

"Yeah." Y/n says in barely a whisper. That's what she wants to believe. She wants to believe that she wasn't as nervous and anxious as other girls.

"Yeah I have panic attacks like all the time, I get sad a cry myself to sleep when I have homework." Mai tells them.

"Yeah, I get anxious and have Anxiety attacks so much." Sami says and they both laugh.

"You're lucky Y/n you don't have to deal with this stuff." Mai tells her.

Little do Mai and Sami know what Y/n really goes through.

They don't know when she cries in the bathroom because of the way she looks. They don't see the pulling at the roots of her hair when tired. Tired of everything.

They don't see her when she lies awake at night wishing she could be someone else. How Y/n believed everything would be better if she was just...prettier.

Y/n hears Sami talk about how confident she is. Saying things like 'I love myself' or 'I look good in this'. While Y/n can't even stand to look at herself in the mirror.

Y/n never told anyone, so how could they have known? She grown to wear the fake smile, she learned to hide everything.

A/N

Going to be honest, almost started crying while writing this. Some parts of that flashback are based off the things I feel so it kinda also felt good to get the feelings out into the world.

Thanks for reading!

-Catelynn