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This is my first journal entry. I have no idea why am I doing this neither to whom am I writing this. You know, I don't have anyone on my side during my darkest moments, with that I hardly opens up myself to anyone. But they say that writing helps ease pain from within so let me try this remedy. I'll just write to you my thoughts and feelings that I can't say to anyone. You're now my invisible friend, are you ok with that? All my worries, thoughts, disappointments, and secrets will be shared to you from now on. And I will be calling you,"You".

You,

Here I am sitting at my usual spot for the nth time, mesmerizing the beauty of the sky as the sun starts to set. I wonder, how can a goodbye be this beautiful. I sighed when I remembered why did my feet bring me here, I weakly smiled. Whenever things become uncontrollable you'll find me at the right side of the seashore, sitting under the tree. Watching the sky turns pastel to black—just like how my life is. This is how I escape from people and responsibilities. I am an escapee of the cruel reality. The cold wind blew, then a tear dramatically fell down my left cheek, "I am tired", the voice inside my head said. "I know you are." I responded.

The resplendent sky is now toned down. The sun is now no where to be found. Stars are starting to selflessly fill the dark sky with their own light. Then, the moon successfully claimed his throne, I look at him desperately asking for comfort. Comfort that I couldn't find to anyone even to my family, friends and myself. I feel like I am alone in this fight. It's difficult to be in a battle wherein the villain is yourself. I am trying my best to be better each day because I am tired of being an average one. But, luck wasn't always on my side. My insecurities overpowered my weak self. Since then, I lost everything up until to this very date. I am a living mess.

I looked at the moon for the second time and this time he returned the gaze. I want to end this show, I said to him as I silently sob, preventing myself to make a noise. But the more I stop myself, the more it hurts inside.

I am not who they think I am. I am tired of reaching their expectations, witnessing and hearing their gloats. Their voices inside my head are jeering at me making me feel dumb and worthless. It's like a pirated CD playing repeatedly in my head disturbing my sanity. Those silent sobs were changed into cry. Just like the other times, no one's on my side. I wonder how does it feel to be comforted by someone.

After a series of trying-to-calm-myself moments, I then look at my watch and noticed that it's time for me to go home. Time to face the reality, acts like nothing happened, and acts like I am fine. But before I stood up I looked at the moon for the last time as means of good bye, "You, I have no one, can I have you?" I pointed the moon as I blurted out those words loud as I could for me to be heard. Trying to make impossible things possible, I am indeed miserably insane.

One, two, three —my mind counted as I deeply breathe preparing myself to go home then I heard a foreign voice. "So, how can I help you?" I turned my head side by side to find the owner of that sweet and soft voice but I've found no one. I am about to go but then somebody tapped my shoulder and sat beside me. "I am Off by the way, and yes you can have me", he said while looking directly at my swollen eyes wearing his moon-like bright smile.

In his smile, I have found the comfort I am looking for.

Love,
Gun.