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You,

Birds are chirping. Trees are dancing along with the wind. Vehicles keep on rushingly passing through the busy road. The sun is already up high conquering the sky and beyond. Looking at those, people will indeed have a perfect day today, but why can't I?

I am crying like a baby having a mental breakdown this early. Have you ever tried waking up at morning and just wanted to cry, heavy heart greets you the moment you opened your eyes?

I am suffering inside, suffocated. I am a mess.

My phone vibrated. I took a look at it, a friend texted. I read his text message with shaking hands and puffy eyes.

Off: I dreamt about you. In my dreams, you were silently crying at the corner of a dark room. Are you alright?
Gun: I don't know anymore if what I am feeling right now can be considered as "alright"
Off: What's the problem?
Gun: Me, I am the problem itself.

Tears keep falling through my cheeks like trees' leaves during autumn season. I am so devastated. I want to escape from reality again and don't want to comeback anymore. I am drowning in the sea of people's expectations. I am tired to be me.

They are here again, can't you hear them? My eyes roam around the room hunting them. Can't you hear them, really? There's mocking laughter. Someone said, "you cannot be like me, you're such a waste." Then, somebody shouted at me saying I don't deserve to be here. I desperately covered my ears with my hands to not hear their voices but I failed when someone whispers at my ear, "I expected a lot from you but you have failed me, what a shame". It lingers down my spine, giving me goosebumps and all. I pleaded them to stop but they didn't. I cannot control them anymore. Moments after, I was about to howl, then someone came out the door. I heard footsteps coming at me, I ignored it. But I was caught off guard when that same person hugged me so tight. His warmth gave me comfort. His caresses calmed me down. When he called me by my name, those blunt words coming from  barbarous voices were gone. He lifted my chin commanding me to look at him and I slowly did. I sigh and smiles weakly at him while my tears didn't halt.

"Why are you here?" I asked. I have no energy left to shoo him away.

"Can't you see I am a living mess, Off. Believe me, you don't want to be involved with me."

He sat down in front of me while holding my hands. He shakes his head, saying no. He caresses my hair, then wipes the tears on my eyes down to my cheeks then he genuinely smiles.

"Allow me to fix you then"

Love,
Gun