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You,

Loving can hurt.

They say that when you love someone you must fight for him, but that's not always the case. Love sometimes requires letting go. Just like our story, I need to let him go and end this show.

After his mom's call, I never contacted him anymore. I don't know how to face him, to let him go. I don't know what to do anymore. This is the love I've been wanting for, why do they need to take it away from me. I've been longing for warmth, concern and love. Now that I have already found it, they want to take it away from me.

Am I selfish if I refused his mom?

But, I will be selfless if I let go of his hands.

I cannot imagine entering tomorrow without him by my side.

After three days, I had the courage to face him and talk to him. I texted him to meet me at our usual spot.

The place where it all started is the perfect place to end it.

"Papii, I am tired. Let's end this."

I don't know anymore.

Should I tell him my reason?

Should I not?

In the end, I didn't tell him.

He was so hurt. He was so broken as soon as he heard those words.

Im sorry, Papii. I need to do this for you.

His tears keep on flowing like a waterfall so as my tears. This isn't part of the plan. Breaking up wasn't our plan. But there are things that come unexpectedly.

I stepped forward, reached him, and hugged him as a goodbye. This person has been my home for months, this person has been my favorite person, this person thought me how to love myself. He became my source of strength, happiness, and hope. This person has been my moon that lighted up my dark world. This person made me a better person. But, even if I've changed myself, I am still not the best person for him.

While hugging him, I could feel his pain. His body was shaking for crying too much. I kissed him on his right cheek, then whispered him, "You deserve someone better, no, you deserve the best and that's not me"

He pushed me, held my shoulder, and looked at me. His cry and his eyes reflects only pain.

"You became my world,Gun.

You became my oxygen, now that you're leaving me how can I live without you?

Your dream has become my dream.

Your life became part of mine. 

You became my everything, Gun.

Please don't do this to me. Tell me what's wrong. Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong that made you think of letting me go?

No, there's no break up. You're just tired. Go home. Tomorrow you'll be ok. Please Gun. Don't leave me. I beg you. Please."

I don't want to leave you, but I have too. I'm sorry my love.

"Let's end this, Off. Please, let's end this for me", I pleaded him.

"I love you, Gun"

truth.

"But, I don't love you anymore."

lie.

"You are the man I want to spend forever with. But I am not the right man for you. I cannot give you the life you deserve. It's time for me to let you go."

truth.

"You're making the worst decision of your life, Gun."

truth.

Just like the moon, Papii is still dependent to the light that the sun's giving him. I am a needy of light, and wanting him to be with me forever will deplete his insufficient light. Papii needs someone who will provide him light unlimitedly because he too is a needy of it, and I am not that person. I cannot give him what I do not own.

truth.

This is the end of our story.

I guess?

Love,
Gun