You,
Three months.
Three months with Papii felt like a dream. Waking up being bombarded by sweet messages just to make sure you'll feel the love you deserve. Three months being taken care by someone you love the most. Always checking on your well-being, cooking foods for you to eat, treating you like the most precious gem in this world.
Three months was too good for me. Since the day he said yes, my life has changed. I mean not totally changed because ever since he came in my life— the night I shouted at the moon— he changed me. But this time, he made me live my life easier than before.
Three months with Papii was filled with...
Smiles. Hugs. Kisses.
Rainbows and butterflies.
Clouds. Pink skies.
So as...
Tears. Uncertainty. Fears.
Doubts. Clouded mind.
Disappointments. Breakdowns.
For life is not perfect.
But,
Papii helped me see the light whenever things become shady; everytime I was stuck in the dark unable to see the light, the beauty in every catastrophe. It was him who made me feel that I am not alone. It was him who believed in me that I can overcome my fears and fight these evil voices in my head even if I, myself, cannot believe I can do it.
One time, anxiety visited me in the middle of the night when everyone was peacefully sleeping tight. I burrowed my body over my comforter trying to calm myself. Voices were keeping me up, they were all telling me that I should give up. I am tired. Tired of convincing myself that I am happy in my course, in my school, in my life. I am tired. Thinking about future suffocates me. I cannot imagine myself wearing a white lab gown, checking on patients and treating them 24/7. I am struggling to study how to treat people's sickness, but I cannot give myself a proper therapy.
Trapped.
Impassionate.
Burnout.
Tears fell from my eye. My body became stiffed, air's running out, hands were shaking uncontrollably. Then, my eyes got attracted by the moonlight and they lingered for some time.
Seconds.
Minutes.
The moon then smiled at me like Papii's smile the first night we'd met. Then, his voice echoed in my head, "Think of me whenever you see the moon... You have me, Gun. You had me since the day you shouted at the moon." I hugged myself, consoling desperately as I let those words repeat in my mind like a pirated CD. I then suddenly felt warm. The merciless voices vanished and was changed into the serene waves of the beach.
Tranquility.
Love,
Gun
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Fanfiction[Completed] "Can't you see I am a living mess, Off. Believe me, you don't want to be involved with me." He sat down infront of me while holding my hands. He shakes his head, saying no. He caresses my hair, wipes the tears under my eyes down to my ch...
