kiddo

chapter fifteen

Thoughts flood my mind as the bell chimes and I nervously pick at the skin around my nails. Was Yū right? What if my feelings aren't as serious as Keishin's? What if I end up hurting him? Should I just end it before it could get worse?

"Koda!" a soft voice repeats, making me jolt in my seat, glancing up at the grey-haired boy in front of me.

"Sorry Suga," I mumble as I massage my forehead, trying to shush the negative thoughts racing around my brain.

"Are you coming to lunch?" he asks gently, head tilting slightly.

I nod and stand up, grabbing my bento box out of my bag. Walking out of the classroom we head down the hall, but as he clears his throat I glance up, watching his face as he struggles to phrase his next question.

"Are you and Coach... is there anything between the two of you?" he asks carefully, quickly adding, "I just saw you two on the bus, and you seemed pretty close."

My face falls and I start to explain, "Um, well it's complicated... Uh-"

I struggle to express myself, face falling into my hands as I give up.

"Hey," he urges softly, "It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't feel comfortable."

Letting my hands fall I gently shake my head, mumbling, "It's not that, I just don't know what to tell you... I don't know how I feel right now."

"Do you want to go outside and talk about it?" he offers, holding out his arm.

I take it and stroll out with him into the sunny courtyard, and after finding a quiet place I spill everything, and when I've finally finished rambling he takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly before he speaks.

"So why are you panicking? You said he makes you happy and you like spending time with him. You think he's attractive and cute, so what's make you timid all of a sudden?"

"I don't know, I think I'm scared that I'll end up hurting him. That's how my past relationships have ended-"

"Let me stop you there," he interrupts, raising an eyebrow, "You like him. He likes you. That's all you have to worry about right now. Don't overthink things, just look at it for what it is. Not what it could be, will be, or won't be."

"That's really good advice Suga," I chuckle, a smile returning to my face.

He laughs, his voice bouncing off of the concrete walls, "I know right, I really am amazing."

"You sure are," I admit cheerily, winking as I whisper, "Daichi is lucky to have you."

"How-" he asks with wide eyes.

"Everyone kinda guessed," I say, smiling as I add, "Even Kuroo knows about you two."

He shakes his head, a small blush exploding on his cheeks, "I guess there's no reason for us to be secretive."

"There really isn't," I chuckle lightly.

"But you two need to be careful," Suga warns suddenly, "I know there aren't any rules forbidding a student hooking up with a coach, but still, there would be a lot of backlash if people found out. At least keep it secret until you graduate."

I nod and say, "I know."

"Okay," he says smiling, "Wanna go eat with the rest of the team now?"

"Sure," I agree as I hoist myself up, flattening my skirt with a smile, my mind finally somewhat at peace.