kiddo

chapter ten

"Is it milk boy?" Kuroo interrogates, his serious face resting in his hands as he leans across the table.

I almost choke on my pork-cutlet bowl, "Kageyama? You're kidding me right?"

"What?" he sings while shrugging his shoulders, "He's not... terrible looking."

"He's way too young," I murmur, returning my attention back to my lunch.

His face lights up as he exclaims, "Aha! So you like older guys. Let's see... who could it be? Hmm..."

"Just give up Kuro," Kenma mumbles, his eyes set on his game boy, "She won't tell you who she's hooking up with."

"Kozume! Is that what you think of me?" I ask in playful shock, dramatically waving my hands, but then with a sigh I continue, "Fine Testu, I'll give you four guesses where I'll answer truthfully. If you guess who it is, I'll take you to get grilled Sanma, but if you're wrong, you owe me pudding. Deal?"

He has a childlike excitement to him as he takes my hand and shakes it, eagerly agreeing to the bet.

He looks around the room and caresses his chin, "So it has to be someone here since you didn't have any hickeys when you got off the bus. Let's see, it couldn't be anyone from Nekoma, since no teammate left suddenly or was gone for an extended period of time. So, Karasuno, who do you have to offer?"

His eyes flicker from one person to the next as he forms hypotheses of who it might be. After coming up with some guesses he finally looks back to me, ready to carefully analyze my reactions.

"First, let's start with the older boys since that's who you said you liked. Let's see, how about the team captain? Sawamura Daichi. He's nice and respectful, but I could imagine him becoming a little rough in bed."

I nod along, trying to follow his logic and not give anything away, but after he finishes I reply simply, "No, you're wrong."

He squints his eyes and nods slowly, taking a look around once more.

"Well, then maybe it's four eyes over there, the tall brooding blonde one. He is a little young, but he seems like your type. He's got quick wits and good insults, perfect for you."

"Hm," I hum, "I guess that Tsukki could be my type if he didn't already have a boyfriend."

His eyes widen and he glances over at Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, sighing as he realizes I'm right.

"Alright, well, it can't be the baldie or the gremlin. They might pretend to be experienced or 'macho', but deep down they reek of virginity and lack of sexual experience."

I smile and try to hold back my laugh, "Who knows, I might have a thing for inexperienced boys."

"Mhm, sure you do," he sighs sarcastically, his eyes already moving to the next people, "It's not the little shrimp or the milk boy either, so, who is left?"

"A couple of second years and a few third years, I think. Only two more guesses left."

"Well, I can rule out the second years. They all don't really seem that interested in you. But, could the tall reincarnation of Jesus possibly be a little dominating in the sheets? He's so cowardly otherwise. Well, it's not the silver-haired guy, he's in love with Sawamura anyways," he pauses and his face grows frustrated, then finally he grunts, "I feel like I'm missing a key part of this puzzle, like there's someone I'm forgetting... well, I guess I'll say it's the socially-anxious Jesus with the long hair."

"He is too much of a mess for even me to handle, so no. One more guess left, let's see if our rooster can pull it off."

He slouches and with an air of defeat his head sinks to the tabletop, his mind unable to come up with another possibility.

"Kenmaa," he whines, "Help me out."

"No," the boy mumbles in response, his fingers flying as they adeptly press buttons, "I already know who it is, so there's no reason for me to help you find out."

I turn to him with wide eyes, but before I can say anything, Kuroo's desperate pleas cut me off.

"Please Kenma, I need to know. I'll even let you skip volleyball practice for three days if you just help me a little."

"You really will?" he asks blankly, his demeanor unchanged.

"Yes, yes, yes," Kuroo nods enthusiastically, "Just help me out."

"Well, I'll give you a hint" Kenma begins softly, "there are two people you ignored in your preliminary analysis. People who aren't specifically players, but they still came along. Once you actually think about it, one of them was acting kind of odd when Koda-san was the center of attention."

"Someone who isn't a player and was acting weird," Kuroo repeats, concentrating as he thinks. He looks around and it finally hits him, his eyes widening as he recalls the interactions he had that day.

"Koda, you're not fucking the coach are you?" he asks, his eyes flicking back to me. He finds me, wide-eyed and complexion completely drained of blood.

He asks again, "Are you fucking your coach?"

I bite my lip and glance at Keishin, who's having a heated debate with the assistant coach of Nekoma.

Rubbing the back of my neck I glance back up to Tetsu and reply with a weak smile, "Maybe?"

He sighs and buries his face in his hands, "You owe me a dinner out."

"How did you not notice earlier Kuro? You always make yourself out to be so intelligent, but you didn't even see this?" Kenma mutters from his game.

Kuroo's head shoots up, "No, I didn't think that a highschooler was having sex with their overage coach. That somehow didn't occur to me."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just..." I begin downcast, and then with a stream of word vomit I blabber, "Well it happened before I knew he would be our coach, but that's not even a good excuse because I continued hooking up with him after he got the position. But please don't blame him, blame me. I straddled him accidentally first, so in actuality, it is all my fault. He's also my brother's friend, and that's weird, but he didn't ever do anything to harm me ever, I swear, well except the one time I couldn't walk, but that was-"

"Okay you can shut up now," Kuroo mumbles, his fingers massaging his temples, "I never meant to dox you or make you feel bad. If you're getting dick and are happy about it, then I'm happy, chibi-chan. Just make sure to be careful, okay?"

"Yeah, I will," I assure, and then after looking over at Keishin I admit, "He's actually very kind to me. Maybe the nicest person I know."

Kuroo scoffs, "I'm sitting right here."

I chuckle and roll my eyes, returning my focus back to the meal in front of me, taking another bite as the sound of Kuroo, who is giving a speech about how he is indeed the nicest person I know, drowns out any residing fears still plaguing my thoughts.