They Say Opposites Attract

X. Shining a Light

"If you want, I can look for a different school, Su."

Those words... I've heard them many times, but they always bore the same results. Only thing different this time being how fast it happened.

I'm sure they've never felt any of this. I wish I could yell those words at them, but my lack of voice... it's not my fault I'm like this. It's not fault they stole my voice. It's not my fault my freedom of speech by mouth was taken. It's their fault. All their fault.

Humans naturally have the impulse to find someone around them, other than themselves to blame. Whether it's true or not. As long as they don't take the blame themselves. Perhaps that's what I'm doing here.

But.

Would I still be lying if I put the blame on myself? Would I still be lying if I put the blame on anyone else? What's the right answer?

What's the easy way out?

I stared blankly at the ground beside my bed, unmoving. It's been a day and I've just been in my room, sitting in this corner.

It's one thing if your classmates bully you....
It's a separate matter being told these things by your own birth father.

I sighed and shook my head at that.

It's fine. It'll all be okay. My mom will find a new school for me for sure. That or she'll finally let me be homeschooled. I smiled at the thought and closed my eyes.

It wasn't long before a knock on my door had woken me up. When I had fallen asleep, I do not know, but I'm sure I did at some point. I got up to my feet and rubbed my eyes with a yawn.

Judging by the darkened sky, I could tell that it was indeed a long minute before between when I had closed my eyes, to the moment I had awaken.

Another knock on the door and I was staggering towards it.

Losing my ability to speak my voice changed a lot in my life. Normally, I'd ask what I was needed for, or what the person on the other side needed. Instead, I just tapped the door with my fingernail, signaling my presence.

"Su," my mom's voice spoke in response to the sound. "You have someone who wishes to speak with you." As for why she chose to phrase it that way, I'll never know.

I blew out a sigh and opened the door slowly. I looked up and sighed. I'm not surprised in the slightest that this girl in particular was here, considering our "chance encounters" that we keep having. Not only that, but it would also relate to yesterday.

I nodded once in response. This may've just been me half asleep, but I stepped out of the way of the door. The girl whom I knew as Raven actually hesitated before walking inside. My mom shifted her weight to her other side and looked back at me.

I'll do what I can, her eyes seemed to speak to me themselves. Whether that was just wishful thinking, or the absolute truth, I'll never know.

After closing my door back, I looked back at Raven with a glare. By way of hand, I asked her a question without taking my eyes off her.

"U-uhm," she spoke up with a stutter. It sounded like she was unsure of what to make of these intricate patterns. "Kid, I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. Slow down."

I sighed and walked over to one of my drawers before opening it. I searched through multiple notebooks and unorganized papers before pulling out a blue notebook with flowers all over it.

I flipped to the last page before closing the drawer. Raven sat on the floor beside my bed, fiddling with the bag that hung by her side. I grabbed a pencil from atop my drawer and wrote out my question, holding it up to show her.

Raven read it and nodded. "I'm actually here to tell you some things," she says, leaning her back against my bed. I sighed at that and looked away. "But first, I want you to do something."

I sighed and looked back at her with a slightly tilted head. What could she possibly want me to do for her? I'm sure she just wants to use me for her own ga-

"Roll up your sleeves," she says in a serious tone. She looked at me with a serious expression. I glanced away before giving a questioning look.

Raven sighed at that and stood up before walking in front of me. Because she was slightly taller than me, I had to look up a bit.

"Kid... you can't hide it," she says, hands in her pockets. I shook my head and backed away, holding my left wrist. Raven sighed at that as I looked back at her still, a worried look in my eyes.

Raven noticed and sighed. "Kid... Su," she corrects herself, using my most used nickname. The other being the last part of my name. "I meant what I said before," she says, looking at me still.

I looked at the floor and sighed before holding my sleeve nervously. Raven looked at me in anticipation as I pulled my sleeve back, looking away.

There, engraved into my wrists, clear as day. They stood out quite a bit against my light skin, as dark red as they were. "Four times," she says, counting the dark lines.

I nodded in response and looked down. "Are any of these because of me?" Raven asked in a softer tone. I hesitated before nodding once, staring at a spot in the carpet.

Raven sighed and pulled me close to her. "No cutting," she tells me, reminding me of her bipolar nature. That reminds me...

"Why did you hurt me?" I asked in a whisper. "When we first met." I decided to add, closing my eyes. We didn't even know each other at the time either.

Raven stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity. When I start to believe that she wasn't going to answer, she spoke up. "I was forced to. Your life was changed the moment you enrolled in this school. And no amount of running can ever save you."