Never Give Up || Kokichi x nonbinary reader

⚠️Monopads⚠️

Tw / mentions of suicide if you're uncomfortable with that subject I'll tell you when to stop reading and when to continue with this: ⚠️ symbol.

I know it's not out of pity...something really doesn't add up. Then someone interrupted my thoughts. "Hey...are you okay?" It was Tsumugi I just nod and quickly walk away. But because I was so alone I started to tear up while I technically sprinted towards the dorms. I walk inside the dormitory I remember Rantaro and my conversation.

"Rantaro will you be with me untill the very end?" I ask him. He nods. "I'll always be with you" he said as he gestures me to my dorm room and we say our goodbyes.

I was loosing my mind but then Rantaro came by my side and grabbed my shoulders. "Hey. Hey. Look at me" I did as he said. "It's gonna be okay I'm gonna look over you don't worry, I'll protect you!" He said giving me a reassuring smile and then hugged me. "T-thank you so much..Rantaro.."

I just sprint to my room as I start sobbing. "Is surviving even enough?" "It's not gonna bring back Rantaro.." I said to myself as I hurl up in a ball form and cry myself to sleep. When I woke up, I just felt empty. It's not worth it..I'm not even a big help, I can't do anything, I'm absolutely worthless. The sounds of knocking then hit me out of my thoughts as I pick myself up and open the door revealing Kaito and Shuichi...without his hat. "Eh..ehm good morning" I say shyly. "Hey! Hope you're doing well! Wanna grab some breakfast in the cafeteria with me and Shuichi?" Kaito said in his usual loud voice. "Ehm well first of all I'm fine and ehm sorry but I never eat breakfast.." I say awkwardly looking at the ground. "Cmon please!" Kaito said as I just gave up easily and agreed to go. I was still really said and of course I wasn't fine but I just don't want people to worry about me.

We arrived at the cafeteria and people were talking about some sort graffiti? Then the moment we came in everyone looked at Shuichi with surprise. "G...good morning.." Shuichi said awkwardly. "You finally got rid of that emo hat! Is it because Kaede died or whatever?" The one and only Kokichi said as he placed his hands behind his head. And this triggered me to think about Rantaro again. So I just burst out of the cafeteria and run back to my room. Crying and crying again. I hate to think that he's really gone. We didn't even talk for like days before he died. I can't take this anymore I'm just worthless.

⚠️you should stop reading here⚠️

Maybe I'd be better off dead. This is it. No one would miss me anyway we're just a bunch of strangers to eachother. This wouldn't be a problem. My eyes turn dark as I grab rope and a chair. I tie the rope as I stand on the chair. When I was done I looked at the rope nervously. I put my head through the hole of the rope as tears fall down my cheeks. I close my eyes as I step away from the chair but nothing hurt.

⚠️you can start reading here⚠️

I open my eyes seeing kokichi trying to hold me with tears forming in his eyes. "W-why didn't you listen" Kokichi said as he was about to break. "I thought we would stick together.." he continued, I start to cry as well while I step back to the chair falling into Kokichi's arms. "W-why didn't you talk to me? Why did you hide your emotions? Why did you want to do this?" Kokichi just continued while he held me in his arms. "I.." I start to form a sentence. "I'm....s-so sorry Kokichi, it's all my fault.." I said to him. "No, it's not your fault, believe me. I'm okay I'm happy that I came in the right moment." He said pulling a bit away from our embrace. "Don't you ever do this again okay?" Kokichi said as I just see his eyes filled with tears as I just nod and embrace him again.

After that moment Kokichi and I were inseparable. We were always together. Even at night one of us slept by the other. But then things started to go downhill again. A video that we received. I wake up in the embrace from Kokichi as I see unusual things laying on my desk. I get loose from Kokichi grip and look at the things on my desk. "What's that?" Kokichi said half asleep. "Some sort of devices" I say as I pick one. Then a video started playing and Kokichi just stands next to me.

"Alright! Back by popular demand, it's time for the motive video!"

I look at Kokichi in a worried glance.

"Who's the most important in *your* life? And now, without further ado..."

Then people in white suits appeared on the screen with clown masks with Kokichi in the middle. Did I just pickup Kokichi's motive video? I quickly pause the video and hand it to Kokichi. "I don't have right to look at your motive video.." I say handing it to him but he just shrugged. "Don't worry about it.." He says as he plays the video further. 

"Kokichi Ouma"

"The ultimate supreme leader..."

"He caused mayhem the world over as the leader of the secret organisation, D.I.C.E."

Dice? Well kinda explains the scarf I guess. But also mayhem? Did he do so many bad stuff?

"And by "mayhem," I mean petty nonviolent crimes and harmless pranks..."

I look at Kokichi a bit lightly. "I'm glad you didn't do anything really bad" I said to him smiling he nods as response. Mhm he's acting weird.

"Anyway, Kokichi had ten loyal goons working for him."

"These goons were like friends and family...the most important people in his life."

The picture then switched to his friends covered in blood and behind prison cells. This can't be any good.

"But then, a terrible event befell those precious people..."

I look worriedly at Kokichi who had tears forming in his eyes.

"What kinda event? It's a secret! Find out yourself. Puhuhuhuhu"

We stayed silent. "K-Kokichi...are you okay?" I ask him but he just turns away. "OF COURSE Dummy!" He said in his light voice, yet I detected just lies in his words and he knows that well. But he just doesn't want to talk about it right now and I respect his request. "If you say so then" I say hugging him and grabbing the other monopad. It was mine...mhm odd we git eachothers' monopad.

"(Y/N L/N), the ultimate truth teller."

"They don't have friends or any family left."

"All of them are DEAD."

"There is one special someone who's yet awaiting them...but who could it be?"

"Well that's for you to figure it out. Puhuhuhuhu"

"Someone special? But I've never grew special bonds with anyone.." I said to Kokichi puzzled.

I don't get this at all.