Hope For The Hopeless (Severus Snape x Reader)

The Potion Master's Confusion

SLAM

Snape was over-reacting, he knew he was but damn it, he needed an outlet for his frustration. How had he let you get under his skin in less than a week? He didn't know the answer, but he knew it stopped now.

It's as if the day itself was out to test him. Watching you leave with Lockhart in the morning left him with the all too familiar pangs of jealousy in his chest. He knew it was ridiculous, he had no right or reason to be jealous but there it was and it irritated him. So much so, Snape had spent most of his day in a horrible mood and even snappier than usual. When Madam Pomfrey had enquired about the excursion Lockhart was taking you on, he had spat out that he did not know, nor did he care. It's something he'd allow himself to do to a student but he'd usually be able to curtail his aggravations towards teachers.

Staff now dined in the Great Hall again, so once he had escaped Madam Pomfrey's questioning he headed to sit by himself, not interested in the dull conversation. Sitting farther apart must have made the other teachers bolder as he heard Hagrid mutter to Flitwick, "Y/n called him an old softy this morning, said they'd be friends. Not sure she knows what she's talkin' bout."

He spent the whole affair wishing he had eaten in his chambers.

For the rest of the afternoon, his focus was almost none existent. Hagrid was right, you had no idea what you were talking about. Softness was not something he felt could ever be used to describe him, he wasn't raised with it and had never subscribed to it in his adult life. A friendship or any other type of relationship was out of the question. Any warmness he had shown towards you was stupid; they were moments of weakness on his part and they could not continue. Would not continue. Severus knew he didn't want to drag someone else's life into the gutter with his own. If he truly felt any care for you then keeping you at a distance was the only option in his mind. Whether he liked it or not.

As the sun waned so did Severus; he was restless. After some more moaning to himself he decided to go for a walk around the halls, to enjoy the calmness of them before the pupils were back to chip away at the last fleck of patience he had with their obnoxious chatter, mind-numbing problems, and rampant hormones.

Leaving his room, he almost wished his eyes had deceived him. There you were, arm entwined with Lockhart's as he pushed hair behind your ear. That bitter feeling of jealousy weighed down heavier this time. You saw him, made eye contact, was that shock? Embarrassment? Whatever it was, he didn't need to linger to know where a moment like this was going. He'd seen it before.

He had wanted to retreat but felt that looked weak, so he pushed his body into motion and strode past you.

"Please keep your personal affairs out of school corridors " he snipped, not even looking your way; he heard Lockhart's repulsive chuckling and held in the urge to turn around and stupefy the idiot.

After some time, Dumbledore's office door came into his view, he wasn't really sure why he was there but that's where the corridors had led him tonight. Knocking on the large door, Severus waited for Dumbledore to let him in and he did so with a watchful eye. Annoyingly the man was beyond perceptive and having known the younger man for many years, could pick up on his frustrations far quicker than Severus liked.

"Good evening, Severus."

"I don't think Miss y/l/n should be involved in my potion classes, " he shot out. Dumbledore's eyebrow raised.

"I thought her planning was going well, Severus?" He asked concerned.

"With everything else going on, Albus, I don't think I have the time to make sure she's not running amok in my classes. It would actually just be easier for me to teach. By myself." He was only partly lying. Working in such close proximity with someone else might end up working against him, especially when he needed privacy.

Albus nodded his head in thought, "You know she has a keen interest in potions though?"

"It's unfortunate." He grimaced at his own petulance but the last time he had been put in a position like this, his anger and jealousy had got the better of him. Snape felt it best to nip it in the bud before the flower bloomed and engulfed him.

Dumbledore pondered, his fingers tapping on his desk. A knock at the door overpowered the noise of his tapping though; he summoned them in.

"Ah, Severus, good evening, old boy."

Lockhart! His voice made Severus' jaw clench and the tap to his shoulder made his wand hand itch. I will still happily wound you, you fool.

"What can I help you with Gilderoy?" Albus asked, not missing the glare Severus was burning into the back of the blonde-haired man's head.

"y/n has taken to her chambers feeling quite unwell..."

Ill? Severus immediately felt himself worry. What had that swine done to you?

"I tried to find Madam Pomfrey but no such luck but thought I'd better let someone know. Not that I couldn't have handled it, of course..." Dumbledore's eyes flicked back to Severus again; a considerable tension buzzing between the two men in his office. Though Lockhart was completely oblivious to it. "..I think she was just overwhelmed by the day but just to be safe."

"Thank you, Gilderoy, I will check on her personally as soon as I have finished my meeting with Severus," he assured.

"Excellent. Thank you, Albus. Well, good night both." With that, Gilderoy swanned out of the room, leaving far too much of his cologne behind.

Dumbledore sighed. He knew there was more to it but he was not in the position to push Severus more than he already was. You'd still stay if Potions was no longer an option, though not as happily he imagined. Albus couldn't risk Severus deviating.

"The decision is yours, Severus. I trust you will make the right one."

Severus was unsure what that decision would be. If he was being honest, he wasn't sure why it had been his first thought. He had no want to ruin your chances of working in the Potions department, but getting rid of the problem entirely was always his first reaction.

Skulking back to the dungeons, Severus felt the ghosts of his past lying in wait in the shadows of the castle. So much pain. Too many bad decisions made here. With little escape from any of them. Chastising himself for being sucked back into feeling pathetic and powerless he let anger build in his chest. It's as if he could hear the taunts, feel the shame of his retaliations, see the disappointment in Lily's eyes and as he passed your chamber doors he replayed the moment with Lockhart and snapped.

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SLAM

Snape was over-reacting, he knew he was but damn it, he needed an outlet for his frustration. How had he let you get under his skin in less than a week? He didn't know the answer, but he knew it stopped now.