Hope For The Hopeless (Severus Snape x Reader)

Stop Thinking

The walk to the dungeons was sweet torture for Severus. No one had raised their hand to him in affection, real affection for many, many years. Taking his arm was so jarring to him that when you asked him to walk you to the dungeons, he could not utter the words stuck in his throat, so he had nodded in confirmation and headed off.

Severus was all too aware of you leaning into his side as you walked down the dark corridors of Hogwarts. The ebb and flow of your body against his own brought with it the push and pull of his warring emotions. What a night for all of this to happen he thought.

The 31st of October. All Hallow's Eve. He would usually lock himself in his room after escaping the feast early - to mourn. Mourn the woman he had loved. The woman he had failed.

Now you were here and you found comfort in him. You had said it yourself, you were not afraid of him, and over the past few weeks, he had realised that he did not want to be frightening to you. That fear was actually the last thing he wanted you to feel when you saw him. But these were uncertain times, he knew it, he could feel it, so he would fight against the ever-growing pull towards you. When he couldn't, he would try to fake disinterest but all too often you would unknowingly break that down, and he would be caught in a flirtation or a look that lingered too long.

He realised he was scared. Of many things now. He had resigned that his life would be lived alone, that he would carry out his duty, the one set out this fateful night all those years ago and that would be it. Now you were here and he found comfort in you, too. A comfort he was sure he didn't deserve but one he was now very afraid of losing. He did not want to fail you too.

----

Severus didn't talk on the way down to the dungeons. You could sense something heavy on his mind and didn't want to interrupt, so you thought too. Thought about Hogwarts. Thought about the warning. Thought about the man next to you. Looking back, he was always there, whether that was consistently putting Lockhart in his place or standing by your side tonight; Severus always seemed to be there when you needed support. He wasn't always the best at it, not close, but he tried and you found that to be the most endearing of things.

You weren't sure if it was the familiar chill of fear that had firmly set in your stomach or the isolation that the dungeons brought but you didn't want to be alone. You didn't want to let him go, but stepping ever closer to your room you knew you would have to. Both of you seemed to hesitate as you made it down the staircase that led to your quarters. You could be brave again, he hadn't dismissed you earlier when you touched him, maybe he'd come in for a drink, maybe even a few drinks.

He cleared his throat, it was time to call it a night, you supposed. The dungeons were dark, the light flicking from the lamps just about lit Severus' even darker figure - his pale face looked lost.

"Thank you, Severus." You began unlacing your arm to turn towards your door when he caught your wrist gently and your heart felt like it might drown at the sudden, rougher contact.

"I don't know about you but I don't feel much like sleeping.." you felt your lips part and a small breath leave your chest, - "..would you like to join me for a drink? I dare say we both deserve it after tonight."

You weren't sure what to concentrate on. His voice, the touch of his hand on your wrist, the closeness of his body to yours, or his distinct scent which, at that very moment, you found intoxicating.

"y/n?" The concern in his voice was evident and you snapped yourself out of his potion-scented trance.

"Mmm, erm, yeah, a drink. That'd be great." Pull yourself together, woman.

So on you walked, past your door and to Severus' quarters. He unlocked his door and stepped aside for you to enter first. Taking out his wand as he followed you in, he lit the candles that were darted around the room to present his living area to you.