That Spring When Hydrangeas Bloom

08

"Do I smell good now?"

Seonho threw himself on his bed after spraying a good amount of perfume on his neck, lower jaw, wrist and forearm, which were inarguably the best spots to spray your scent on. I managed to have a quick glance on the bottle he used and noticed that it resembled one of my brother's perfumes. I kinda smiled to myself because I knew that scent so well. It was like I can smell him for real.

I called him Seonho or oppa now because that was the only way to get him to have a quick shower run. I found it awkward at first and I seriously didn't mind bickering with him over the phone even all night long but I gave my chance up as I was too tired to argue.

"I take orders from no one," I earlier said.

"Except for Kim Seonho," he added.

That was how he made me call him oppa, much to this man's delight especially after seeing how my eyebrows furrowed due to annoyance, which made him laugh as he went inside his bathroom. However, we also got into an agreement that we will make everything professional at the hospital in order for us not to spark any attention from our colleagues. It was enough for me that my friends knew about us. We ought to make everything private without the intention of having to hide whatever was between us. People can't break what they didn't know.

I nodded at his question and inched closer to the pillow I was hugging that carried most of my weight. I checked the time on the screen above and it said it was already 9:30PM, which meant we were on the phone for 2 hours now.

Silence suddenly enveloped us as we were just staring at each other's faces. It was the kind of silence that was pleasant and comfortable, the kind that didn't force us to say something to avoid any awkwardness. I liked this silence because it spoke volumes as to how we can just be quiet around each other and still feel the delight in each other's presence.

"I can't believe I confessed to you that day," he started. "If that kind of situation didn't come, I don't think I'll be here talking to you right now."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He grabbed a pillow to hug and shifted his position to lie on his chest, which mimicked my own now. "Well, for one, I didn't really think thoroughly about the way I will confess because I thought I didn't have a chance. But when I saw you at the café, I don't know, I just felt instantly jealous because I was thinking, 'If she didn't like hanging around her colleagues that much, why is she here with Dr. Choi?' I then realized the time I wasted if only I thought thoroughly about my actions at first and mustered up the courage to actually talk to you about it, then it wouldn't have had to happen."

The look on his eyes spoke so much about how he was still regretting it and it made me sad, too. We spent weeks with no speaking terms because none of us actually had the guts to confront each other about it, which made me value the importance of communication more. Staying silent about things that made you uncomfortable and acting without thinking were dangerous traits that we both should avoid and learn from.

"I realized that my relationship with my colleagues shouldn't end at the hospital. Strengthening our bond is so important because that way, we can be able to comfortably do our jobs." I scratched my itching forehead for a few seconds before continuing. "I also wasn't sure how long I will be able to endure not talking to you because I really thought I was okay with it. I thought that you were just too busy to even spare me a glance, only to realize that it was my fault all along."

"Don't blame yourself."

"I can't help it too, you know. I just thought about that rule without thinking that someone will actually get hurt because of it. I thought too lightly about it because I didn't predict this kind of situation to happen."