27 years| Reddie

In my profession, one's love stays unexpressed

Richie never usually went to his parents about his love-life. They knew he was gay and that's about it. They didn't know he'd been hooking up with Steve for almost ten years and they certainly didn't know about Eddie. So, here he was sat, explaining the situation.

"You have been sleeping with your manager?" Maggie asked as they sat on the couch in hers and Wentworth's hotel room. They'd flown over to see a few of Richie's shows. Richie gave a nod." Do you know how bad that'll look if that comes out in the press?"

"But it won't...do you remember Trisha? She knew. Threaten to tell. Didn't say a word when we ended." Richie explains. Maggie raises an eyebrow and Wentworth hands Richie his coffee before sitting down on the arm chair." But there's more to it than just Steve."

"What'd you mean?" Wentworth asks curiously. He isn't comfortable talking with his son about his sons sex life but if Richie is struggling, he'll offer his fatherly advice.

"Well...do you remember Eddie Kaspbrak? My best friend since I was like six?" Richie asks and Maggie and Wentworth sit in thought for a while before nodding, explaining its hazy but they think they know who he's on about." Well...on prom night I tried to kiss him and he freaked out-

"So you like this boy?" Maggie asked and Richie gave a nod." Okay, continue."

"Last night was his birthday party and he was drunk and we ended up in a storeroom and I kissed him. To cut a long story short, we made out, I got a little...excited and he was going to help me with that." Richie explains, not wanting to get too graphic as these are his parents and they don't want to know the details." And for his first time doing that he was good. Very good. Not as good as Steve just yet but good nonetheless-

"Richard." Wentworth sighs, head resting against his palm." Get to the point other than he just gave you a...y'know."

"Right. Sorry. So, he's doing it and then...mid-way through, he pulls back and freaks out the exact way he did on prom night and he rushed out in tears. I stood in that storeroom, exposed, a little embarrassed. I had to finish the...work myself and I felt so gross doing that in a storeroom." Richie explains and then he glances to his mom, who is sat in thought.

"Would anything have caused him to run off?" She asks and Richie blushes.

"He's married." He admits and both parents audibly gasp.

"Don't be a homewrecker, Richie!" Wentworth sighs.

"But I-I'm not. He wasn't married prom night. He'd clearly wanted it to happen. It almost did happen and he freaked out and ran away that night too! So him running away due to his wife isn't the reason why he keeps freaking out on me!" Richie rambles and his parents stare at him in silent amazement.

"Is he gay?" Maggie asks.

"I...think so. Does a straight man drop to his knees to do that to another man?" Richie asks and Maggie and Wentworth sigh.

"Well, it sounds to me like he has some internal issues going on." Wentworth says and Richie looks at him." You know your internalised homophobia and how difficult you were finding it to overcome it. But you're almost there. Maybe he has it on a much worse scale?"

"Maybe...oh I forgot to mention the voicemail he left on Saturday. Drunk." Richie sighs and then he plays it for them. Maggie and Wentworth glance at one another as they listen to Eddie slurring his words together and giggling." And then I stupidly sent this."

It's silent as his parents read the message he sent to Eddie. Then they look at their son slowly. Richie sighs and shoves his phone back into his pocket.

"Don't yell at me...I wasn't thinking with my brain. But, how else was I supposed to interpret those words? He clearly wanted it that night and he wanted it last night...he wanted to kiss me on prom night, he admitted that last night just before he...began. I'm so confused." Richie explains quickly." One minute, he's all over me. The next...he's repulsed by me."

"Sounds to me like he needs to get a therapist." Wentworth states a bit harshly. He didn't mean for it to come out that bluntly." He clearly needs to work out some things."

"Talk to him about that, Rich. Okay?" Maggie suggests and Richie nods. His dad isn't wrong. Eddie really does need to sort his shit out.

-
Eddie cries into his knees as he showers. His third shower since coming home last night. His skin is really red from scrubbing so hard...but he knows he won't be clean until he stops wanting Richie. He gets out of the shower and turns it off, wrapping a towel around his waist before going to the sink and brushing his teeth, his sixth time doing that since coming home. He then uses mouthwash. Trying to rid any trace of Richie he has.

He felt wrong and he felt guilty. Wrong for starting to do that and guilty for rushing away in panic, leaving Richie to stand exposed in a storeroom in an office he didn't even work at. Eddie sighs and throws on some clothes, deciding to not go into work today as he's hungover and desperately trying to keep the lid on his sexuality.

Eddie sighs and goes back to bed. He doesn't want to be faced with Myra as the guilt would build back up. He's such a shitty husband and he knows that. She tells him that but for different reasons. He doesn't deserved to be loved...by her or anyone. By Richie. He doesn't deserve to be loved by him.

Just as he's about to fall asleep, despite it only being 10am, his phone vibrates. He sighs and grabs it, looking at the message. It's from Richie.

Trashmouth: we need to talk

Eddie sits up straight. He wants to talk? He's probably mad at him for what he did. Probably wants to yell at him. Tell him how pathetic and worthless he is. That's what Myra does when Eddie does something wrong. Eddie sighs and types his message back.

Meet me at the coffee shop in Times Square at midday