Blue's Healing (HIATUS)

꧁𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 11꧂

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎
☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎
Hi, everyone. I want to call my readers something but I will have to think on that. I did something last night that I've been wanting to do for like so many years now. I peirced my nose with my older sister! I pierced her nose which wasn't a big deal cause its her nose and she said she felt no pain cause I did it so quickly. With me though, man that hurt like a mother trucker. She was so nervous so in the middle of it she kind of hesitated so I felt it so through. But I'm still happy I got it done. My mom was too scared to get it done yesterday, but now since my sister said she felt no pain from it, she wants to do it. Anyway, I took a large break without knowing so I am hoping to upload 2-3 more times by the end of the weekend. With that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter and brace yourself. Mwah
☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎
☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎
The car ride to the doctors was quiet and seemed to drag on forever. I was still not completely sure what had set off such a panic attack, but it was one of the worst ones I've had in a long time. All I knew at the moment as I was sure I had been happy that everyone had come to visit me. I hope they don't hate me after seeing how messed up I am. I let out a laugh at my thoughts knowing our relationship that had developed over that past week was now going down the drain. I had too much baggage for anyone to want to stick around. Grammy checks on me out the corner of her eye after hearing my laugh before looking back at the road again with a heavy sigh.
"I was just thinking. What happened while I was...out of it?" I question looking over at her as my eyebrows start to furrow.
She glances at me quickly before saying, "It wasn't that serious, nothing much happened really."
Shaking my head, I ask, "Can you just tell me, Grammy? I want to know what happened with everyone."
As we pull up to a stoplight, she looks at me for a minute before huffing hard and says, "Okay, I will but I don't think it is very significant."
As the light changes for us to go, Grammy starts telling me what happened.
Grammy's P.O.V
I hope this whole thing is going to go well. I haven't seen him this happy and content in a minute. Whatever is happening to him isn't too bad today; which I thank the Almighty for. I take one last glance at the long-haired girl's back, Rosie, before turning back to the counter to continue fixing the sandwiches for everyone. I pray she talks with Miles while she is up there; I don't like him being alone too long in his current state of mind. A long sigh makes its way out of my mouth as I didn't have the greatest feeling about everything but I ignore my worries and focus on making sure the kids go to the backyard to start setting everything up the way they would like.
Everything was going pretty well for about 45 minutes and I had gotten most of the lunch done; I heard hurried steps coming from the living room and Zane skidded into the kitchen with a panicked look haunting his rounded features. He tries to get whatever he was trying to say out but he did seem to know where to begin was on the verge of breaking down into tears. Lord have mercy.
"It's Miles?" I ask as I dust my hands off on my apron and start to close all of the open condiments.
After a few seconds of deep breathing, he manages to say, "Yes Grams, he suddenly started crying. We thought it was maybe because he was excited or didn't like some of the presents Rose gave us but then he suddenly started sobbing badly and bolted into the corner by the door. Now he is huddled in the corner with a faraway look in his eyes as he is mumbling to himself."
As he continued to tell me what was happening, I got a cold feeling in my bones and I hurriedly left the kitchen to get to Miles as soon as possible. As soon as I enter the living room, I see the same girl, Rosie, kneeling in front of a frantic and scared Miles. Miles was looking around him as if he was seeing what we were not, and was starting to get worse as the seconds ticked by. Rosie stands up quickly, as soon as she sees me come into the room and starts to explain what happened.
I put a hand on her shoulder, telling her, "Sweetheart, it isn't your fault. From what you have told me, you did nothing wrong. He can be triggered by the littlest things; the only thing I can think of that set this off was him covering his face. He doesn't like the dark, and it one of his severe triggers. He should be fine in a little..." as soon as I finish explaining what I think happened Miles suddenly screams out in such a way I got chills all over my body and my heart dropped to the heels of my feet.
I hurry over to him and see him clawing at his precious skin again. I get down on my knees quickly and put my forehead to his while whispering to him in hopes he will hear me. He's too far gone...What am I to do now? I curse my daughter and the men that made my sweet grandson this way. There wasn't much I could do except lay his head on my lap and fan him until he was able to come back to me. I hope he can come back to me... Miles continued to sob, mumble, claw at himself, and scream while I couldn't help him. I was so focused on him, that I hadn't noticed the house had gotten quiet and Miles's friends had left.
His panic attack started to end as his chest stopped heaving rapidly and he was mumbling quietly to what seemed like someone in the distance. I didn't know what kept happening to Miles because he didn't want to go to a psychiatrist but this was the end of the line. I was going to get him to help no matter if he hadn't met in the long run; as long as he gets happier in the future and these things stop happening. I couldn't bear to see him like this anymore.
Miles's P.O.V
"That's everything that happened. I don't know what happened with your little friends but I know they weren't there to witness everything. So don't think about it too hard, okay?" Grammy finishes saying as we pull up to the clinic.
I kept silent and just nodded my head not trusting myself to be levelheaded about everything. I hate the way I am. I don't want to continue this, so I'm glad Grammy is forcing me to get evaluated. I'll do anything at this point to get better; I don't want to end up like mom...She would never forgive me if I went out the way she did. It was the last promise she had me make before she left me. I get taken out of my thoughts as Grammys door closes on her side and I follow suit knowing if I don't she will drag me out. Stepping out of the car I am hit with the sterile smell of the clinic as the strong breeze blows through the parking lot. The breeze comforts me though, it tangles itself with hair and makes its way through my clothes to caress my marred skin. I had changed into a light grey sweatsuit. I think I have too many sweatsuits.
Looking towards the looming clinic that was only a few steps away, I feel as if I am not going to have my normal life back anymore. The overwhelming feeling that the minute I stepped through those doors my life was going to forever change. I was not going to be the same person I am standing right here. I only hope I will change for the better. Time seemed to slow down as the breeze weaved through my hair and I turned to look at Grammy with a small smile. I took one last look behind me at the world I had resided in before looping Grammys arm through mine and heading into the clinic.
Rosie's P.O.V
The sound of Miles's gut-wrenching screams haunts my dreams as I jolt out of my sleep in a cold sweat and labored breathing. Sitting up, I place my face into the palms of my shaking hands as I shudder from my attempt to take deep breathes. It's been almost a week since last weekend's incident and I was still frazzled at how haunting Miles' screams and cries had been. I was saddened, angry, scared and most of all irritated with myself. I feel like I had overstepped some boundaries and I was frustrated that I hadn't taken the right precautions and steps. I should've asked him if it was okay for him to close his eyes, but even then it might've all been in vain. He was purely regressed and I messed that up; I doubt he even would want to be friends after what happened but I wasn't going to be the one who would end our budding friendship.
I scooted to the edge of the bed slipping on my bunny slippers after grabbing my phone and headed out of my room to the kitchen. The sun hadn't risen yet, and here I was drinking some strong black coffee to keep me awake. I went out the back doors to sit on the small wooden stairs to clear my head. Miles hadn't come to school the entire week and his phone had powered off since that day. Worry had settled into my bones at the beginning of the week and dread had come in at the middle of the week to accompany it.
The cool morning nipped at my skin along with the cool breeze whispering to my soul that it was all going to be okay. I had messaged his grandma a few days ago, asking if they were doing well and if there was anything I could do. She had replied yesterday, that they were doing okay and Miles was going to need a little break. She also asked me at the end of every week he was going to be gone if I could gather his homework from each of his teachers which wasn't much but I am happy to just do something as small as this for them. I wanted to do more but I was comforted by the fact that I could do something and his grandma didn't hold anything against me even though I couldn't exactly do the same for myself.
Due to everything that had occurred, I had spent the majority of my time this week researching a multitude of things. From regression to PTSD, and everything else that could help me to prevent what had happened or to help me understand what I could've done better. I felt helpless and I didn't want to feel like that again if I had to encounter anything like that again.
Zane had also had a hard time afterward, which was also something I had been worrying over. It was hard to console him as we were living. He didn't understand anything that was happening and ultimately caused him to impurely regress. I had him ride with me while Anna rode back home with Shane. Zane had spent the rest of that evening crying, sad, and upset; which ultimately made everything very overwhelming. He went home two days ago since his mom had told him to bring his butt home. Chuckling, I finish off my coffee as I watch the sun peek over the horizon and decide to stay a few more minutes to watch this moment that I miss so often.
I hadn't thought the last weekend would end so crazily but somewhere in the mix of all of the emotions flying around I was relieved to have this type of experience with others. If there was ever a situation like this again, I would know how to react if I was alone. It was a terrifying experience for me as a bystander, so I couldn't imagine how scared sweet Miles had been. He had experienced firsthand everything and was stuck in it; alone. A lone tear makes its way down my face and I stand up wiping it away as I head back into the house with a new resolve.
I would do all that I can while I was outside looking in on Miles's life while also learning more about what could've been done in this situation. I was also going to change the subject of my senior project which was going to take some convincing to the company I was working with but I was determined to do it. It was also about time, I got everyone together to talk about everything we needed to; whether it'd be about Zane's regression, me being a caregiver, and what that means, but overall a debrief on what everyone was feeling in terms of everything. It may seem like it was a little much but they were like my family. I wanted us all to on the same page. Lastly, I was going to wait for Miles even if he was to be gone for a while. I only hope once he comes back he will want to still be friends with us all.

Healing the psyche takes time; it's never the same for one person to the next. No matter how long it takes for Miles, I will wait.

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎
☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟸𝟹𝟻𝟿
☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎☔︎︎
☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎
𝙸 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚢. 𝚆𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢-𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎. 𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚅𝚘𝚝𝚎, 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎, & 𝚂𝚊𝚟𝚎. 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚎, & 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚜❤︎