Illusion

Chapter 23

Avery's POV

What the hell was that?

My body is aching from the cuts covering my skin. My shoulder feels like it's been shot all over again and I'm genuinely terrified I have internal bleeding on my brain. All this being said, I really just want to sleep. And if I never wake up, well... I don't even know, I'm that tired.

Harry may have said that I needed to shoot at that car, shoot at those men, but he didn't press my finger against the trigger. He didn't aim the gun for me and tell me when to shoot. Everything that I did is on me.

I can't think about whether or not Harry was lying about if I killed those men or not. I could tell by his facial expression that I very clearly killed the man from the warehouse. But I can't let my thoughts linger on that. If I do, I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave my room again. I can't think about how I, Avery Wilson, killed a man, or potentially three.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, a bad idea in hindsight due to my excruciating headache. My feet trek soundlessly up to my apartment, my door creaking as it swings open on its hinges. I pull the strap of my duffle bag that I hastily grabbed from the boot of Harry's car off my shoulder, letting it thud to the floor.

Kicking my door shut, I amble over to my bedroom, not even bothering to change, let alone shower, and collapse onto my bed. The second my head hits the pillow, my mind goes numb, sleep overpowering my senses.

***

I awake to the afternoon sun lingering through the crack in my breezy curtains, still closed from when I left. My stomach growls of hunger and I desperately need a shower. Ugh. I sigh in utter tiredness. Not from lack of sleep, since I'm pretty sure I just slept for almost 15 hours, but from mental exhaustion. Everything that has happened has shaken me to my core. Everything I've witnessed has turned my already crazy life upside down.

I've seen my fair share of scary, been involved in enough violence to scar a person, and had more traumatic things happen to me than should be possible in one lifetime. And that's not including everything that has happened since I met Harry.

Since I met Harry, I've been exposed to more threats than I can count, witnessed too much horror, been physically and emotionally hurt, and to top it all off, been recruited into the largest gang in the world.

Yeah, and I thought my own drama was a lot.

Why would Harry ever voluntarily join Illusion? Did he have a choice? Because I sure as hell wouldn't have joined if I was given any freewill in the arrangement.

If being a part of this gang is anything like what I just went through, but on a regular basis, then I want absolutely nothing to do with it.

How would those men have even known we were at the hospital? I guess they must've seen us leave or something. I honestly have no idea. And I think that's what scares me the most. Not the guns. Not the violence. But the secrets and lies. The fact that everyone knows something I don't. It scares me that I have absolutely no clue what being involved with Illusion entails, yet I've been officially declared a member. Well, at least by Harry's standards.

After that torturous trip, Harry seems to respect me a bit more. Which is honestly all I can ask for. Maybe now he'll give me more than a crumb of information. Perhaps the next time he asks for my help, he won't just throw me into the deep end, expecting me to fish around for details when I have no clue of their appearance.

I sigh knowingly. Don't get ahead of yourself Avery. Harry's just doing his job. He's not going to trust you. I bet he doesn't trust anyone. Besides, I don't trust him. There's something off about the way he acts. He's aggressive and blunt, harsh and rude, he makes my blood boil just thinking about his arrogance.