Angel With a Shotgun

Q U A T T R O

I sat there shellshocked, rocking back and forth. The image of Ryan dying by my hands replayed over and over. Holy shit, I just killed a man. And I laughed right after. What kind of a monster was I?

Noah tried to place a comforting hand on my shoulder but I shrugged him off, standing up abruptly.

I began pacing, muttering to myself, "I just killed someone," again and again.

"I'm gonna clean this up," Jason said softly. "Noah, bring her to the compound immediately."

Noah nodded, trying not to touch me again, but I followed him out to his car which was a black dodge challenger. We drove to the compound in silence, my mind however violent.

When we got there, I went up to my special room, shut the door, and cried. I couldn't believe I did that.

I laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling which somehow became a kaleidoscope of different shades of red and purple. I don't remember how long I laid there like that, but after a while someone knocked on the door, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I sat up sniffling, quickly wiping my tears. I managed to croak, "Come in."

Gavin came in with a small smile. "How you feeling?"

"What's it look like?" I replied.

He stared at me, squinting his chocolate eyes for a second, then took my hand, "Come with me," he said.

I followed him to the top floor overlooking the whole compound. People were eating lunch at picnic tables, some were practice fighting, others day drinking at the bar. I spotted Laura and another girl having a chat near the wall of weapons. They didn't seem to notice us.

"This is one of my favorite spots." Gavin started, "Wanna know why?"

I nodded, capturing his eyes.

"Because everything is so clear from up here. You get to have the eye of an eagle. You get the chance to be something bigger than you are. Now, I don't mean to sound too arrogant when I say I want to be something bigger than this. But..."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

He shrugged, "You seem to be a trustworthy person, despite today's events."

I regretfully looked away.

"Don't be scared, Nina," He said, cupping my chin in his hand, turning my face towards his. "It was your first kill. We all had to go through what you are right now. You'll get more acquainted with the euphoric feeling. It's going to be okay. I'll help you."

"But that's the thing, Gavin, I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel the bloodlust or the euphoria. It was scary because it felt so good. God, I'm such a monster."

He snickered, "Well if you're a monster, what are we?"

I rolled my eyes and let out a single hollow laugh.

His eyes darted to my lips then back up to my own brown ones. He started to lean in and I felt the magnetic pull. The soft brush of our lips touching was like finally coming inside after playing in a strong snow storm and sipping hot chocolate by the fireplace.

Once we pulled apart, he smiled before kissing me again, this time a little rougher.

I smiled back when we were done and leaned on his shoulder, butterflies erupting in my stomach.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

     "Be aware of all your surroundings," said Laura as she threw a punch at me and I tried to dodge.