Watching You Go - Mad Dog X Reader

Idol

With each date Kyotani took (Y/N) on, Iwaizumi grew more bitter. His bitterness was expelled through volleyball for harder spikes that could break windows. Despite this, Kyotani's view of Iwaizumi had shown brighter and his admiration reached new heights. How ironic that the one who idolizes is the very reason behind the idol's sudden burst in talent.

Iwaizumi conscience was eating away at himself as he fought with the good and bad within himself. The former wanted to leave Kyotani alone and let the two continue to become what he was too chicken to even make a move towards. Yet, the latter desperately wanted to kick Kyotani aside and take (Y/N) for himself. Every time he saw Kyotani by her side, he wished it were himself that made her smile.

It was end of practice and (Y/N) was hurrying over with a gym bag hanging from her shoulder. Iwaizumi hoped she would rush to his side, but he watched as she ran past him and linked arms with Kyotani.

"You hungry? I was thinking of grabbing something to eat before heading home," Iwaizumi heard her say to Kyotani.

Iwaizumi tried desperately to ignore the way she clung to Kyotani's arm, the way her voice sounded so bubbly and happy, and how wide her smile was that was so contagious and bright. He had never seen her like this before in all the years he knew her. Could he have made her smile like that if he made a move years ago?

He packed up his gym bag and grabbed his water bottle as if someone was going to steal it from him.

"Iwaizumi?"

Iwaizumi was shook from his thoughts and turned to see Kyotani and (Y/N) behind him.

"Can you monitor my spikes?" Kyotani asked with a glimmer of excitement hiding behind his resting glare. The younger seemed to almost gleam with hope and was eager to have his upperclassman practice with him one-on-one.

But, unlike Iwaizumi's usual self, his pent up anger and jealousy seemed to shoot out in one, cruel question.

"Why should I?"

The second the words left his lips, he immediately recovered and said, "I'm heading home. Ask Oikawa he should be getting waters right now."

Iwaizumi fixed the strap of his gym bag and practically ran out the gym without daring to look back. He cursed himself and the sudden burst of anger he directed at Kyotani, who absolutely didn't deserve it. The hell's wrong with you, Hajime? This isn't like you. He scolded himself as he stormed out the school grounds.

He walked home asking himself again and again why he snapped at his underclassman. The guy didn't deserve it, he didn't do anything wrong. So why? Why did Iwaizumi send his anger towards the poor guy? He just wanted someone to practice with and all Iwaizumi saw was a threat. A threat to what? Iwaizumi didn't have anything to take, in fact, it was Kyotani who had someone precious on his side.

Iwaizumi felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and pulled it out to see her name. He stared at his phone wondering if he should answer it. He should just act like nothing was wrong, as always. Act like he was completely fine and not cursing himself on the inside every time he saw her link arms with Kyotani. Like he wasn't regretting anything,

Just before the ringing stopped, Iwaizumi answered the call.

"What's up, (Y/N)?" He asked nonchalantly, like he didn't just storm out the gym after glaring at Kyotani.

"Hey, Iwa, are you... okay? Is something wrong?" She asked on the other side. Iwaizumi didn't have to see her to know she was wearing a worried expression. He knew her well enough to know how she would react to just about anything, he knew her like the back of his own hand. He learned her little antics and reactions, but that was the problem. He wasn't expecting Kyotani.

"Nothing, just wanted to go home early. I was planning on going for a run today," Iwaizumi answered truthfully as he began to plan out his route to avoid bumping into her.

"Was it something Kyotani said? Did he come off too strong? If he did, sorry about that, he just really looks up to you," she said quickly as if embarrassed that she knows this. Iwaizumi felt himself sink deeper knowing that the underclassman did nothing wrong. Kyotani didn't do anything that warranted how Iwaizumi treated him, and what made things worse was her trying to explain things to him.

"No, it wasn't that," Iwaizumi reassured.

It's me.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me."

If only you knew.

"You can tell me anything, Iwaizumi."

I can't.

"I'm your best friend, you can trust me."

That's the problem.

"I'm always here for you."

I love you.

"Call me back when you're out of your funk, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll call you," he finally managed to say. The words he desperately wanted to say clung to his throat and trapping all the air in him. He felt like he was choking and wanted to risk everything just to take that one big breath. But he was so scared.

"Okay...," she said with a light sigh on the other end. Iwaizumi slapped his forehead when he ended the call and his head fell back to look up at the darkening sky.

"I'm an idiot," he said to himself before stuffing his phone in his pocket and walking home.

When he came home, he threw his backpack aside and immediately changed for his run. He grabbed a bottle, headphones and ran out immediately, he wanted to clear his head. He wanted to get (Y/N) out his head. Maybe... run away from everything for now.

He wanted nothing more than to turn back time to before she met the younger. If time went back, he wouldn't hesitate. He would take her to speak alone, and tell her everything he kept hidden in his heart that accumulated over the years he knew her. He would lay everything out on the table, so he wouldn't regret anything afterwards. He would deal with the aftermath in whatever way it led to. He just wanted to let go, or hold her hand should she feel the same.

Now, though? He couldn't. Not after they're practically dating already. It would be the shittiest move to finally open his heart after she was holding hands with another. He wouldn't do that... right?

Who's to say he wouldn't let it out like he did at Kyotani? He thought he could keep his feelings in check, and yet look what happened. He snapped at Kyotani who did absolutely nothing wrong. Kyotani was just being a fellow member of the team wanting to grow better as a player. When would it happen again?

With each step Iwaizumi took, he could feel the pain growing on his feet. He wasn't sure how long he had been running, but the sun was long gone by now, and the neighborhood lights were turned on. He could feel his lungs burning as they tried to keep his pace, and his throat drying. How far has he run? How much longer will he keep running? How much longer was he willing to hurt himself?

He slowed down briefly to a stop and pulled out his phone. He flicked through his contacts until he landed on her name. He stared at the name as he thought about calling her. Was he out of this "funk"? Was he feeling better and able to call her back as promised?

He contemplated talking to her. What would he say? Would she ask again if he was okay? What would they talk about? Was he okay? His thoughts paused and asked himself, "Am I okay?"

He sighed. He pocketed his phone and blasted his music. He took a sip of his water to quench his burning thirst and fixed his shoes before running off.

He never called (Y/N) back.