Retrograde ➼ cth [au]

siete

"So, what's the deal?"

"The deal with what?"

"The deal with that Calum kid, duh," Katie's voice said clearly, half-scoffing.

"Since when was there a deal with Calum? We're paired together for English?" Katrina replied, nonchalantly.

"Yeah, and that's why you've been with him every day for the past two weeks."

"Well, y'know, it's a big project; I need to do well in English for a good reference next year."

"Why can't you like, do half and half by yourselves and then email it to him to put together?" Tris piped up.

"Why is old school, meeting up for a project a bad thing now?" Katrina questioned.

"Well, it is when it's..." Tris trailed off.

"When it's someone like Calum," Katie finished for her, in a deadpan tone.

"What d'you mean, 'someone like Calum'? What's wrong with Calum?" Katrina asked, her voiced laced suspicion and almost a tone of protectiveness.

"Uh, you mean what isn't?" Katie let out a laugh that closely resembled a cackle. "No one knows who he is, Kat, we only know who he is because he keeps taking our best friend away from us."

"Yeah, Kat," Tris joined in. "Not to be petty, but you're mixing with someone that no one knows exists."

"Not to be petty? As if saying that instantly stops you sounding petty?" Katrina's voice had risen ever so slightly; it was easy to tell that she was unhappy with what her friends were saying.

"Kat, you know we're only looking out for you," Katie sounded so chill, as if it were normal to call someone else out for 'no one knowing who they were'.

Katrina's single laugh was sarcastic. "Hah, looking out for me? What is this, High School Musical minus the singing? Some eighties teen film? You're trying to tell me that I can't hang out with someone just because he's quiet and unknown by the school?"

"Well, Kat..." Tris was cut off by Katie again – this girl seemed to know exactly what she wanted to say.

"Kat, face it – it's just how high school works. Everyone knows who you are – you're hot, smart, good at sports. What's a reason not to look up at you? You've got the boys falling at your feet, yet you ignore them and suddenly start interacting with a nerd that always sits at the far side of the class and never talks."

"Are people really still that shallow? Are you really still that shallow?"

Katie ignored Katrina's last comment and continued. "The boy's are questioning even inviting us – I mean, you – to the party next Saturday just because they think you'd rather sit at home reading comics and babysitting Calum."

"You do realise that we were paired together for a project? It's not exactly my choice to spend all the time with him, but at the same time I don't mind. He's great to hang out with when you get to know him and he opens up a little more."

"So what? You catching feelings for him now?" Katie sneered, causing Tris to laugh.

"After knowing him for two weeks, no," Katrina replied, her voice calm.

"It's not good for your image, y'know," Katie said in a soothingly fake voice. "You know, you should talk to Finlay again, I know he wants a date with you. I mean, I did slip him your number this morning-"

"Why would you do that?"

"Uh, I'm sorry – but literally the hottest guy in school is asking how he can get a date with my best friend? I was doing you both a favour, you can thank me later."

"What if I don't want to go on a date with him? I hardly know him anymore."

"You hardly know Calum yet you still hang out with him," Tris said, matter-of-factly.

"What is your problem with Calum? What d'you want me to say?" Katrina burst out. "Do you want me to say that I know he's quiet and unpopular? Do you want me to say that I know he's only got a few friends who don't care about him being a nerd? Do you want me to say that I'm going to drop him as soon as this project is over? Fine, whatever, I will. If you guys just shut the hell up about it."

"Hun, c'mon, let's go get a smoothie," Katie said, shuffling around.

I hung up the phone – I didn't want to hear anymore. I felt sick, my stomach swirling around the same way it does when you're on a rollercoaster. I didn't know what to say, how to feel. I stared down at the phone in my hand, my eyes landing on Katrina's name above the CALL ENDED – Katrina's name that had the kitten emoji that she insisted on having.

Michael sat across from me, not saying anything either. He was staring anywhere but at me, biting his lip with second-hand embarrassment. I don't blame him – I'd feel embarrassed for me too.

It was cliché and it was bullshit – how could I even think that Katrina really wanted to be friends with me? I mean, I totally heard her saying all those things defending me – but then I thought, I don't want to be defended. I don't want to be seen as so weak that people always have to stick up for me. Katie was right. That's how high school works – even now, in this day and age, people are still picky about the social hierarchy. And whilst Katrina was at the top, I was basically sub-zero.

Michael cleared his throat but didn't say anything. I looked up to see him still avoiding eye contact. In this situation he was almost as awkward as Luke was when he was fourteen. Michael wasn't usually this quiet, so from the outside this must look really embarrassing.

There I was, thinking Katrina was calling me back to ask something, say something, anything. A few seconds in and I realised it was an accident – but as soon as I heard my name, I couldn't bring myself to put my phone down. The boys huddled around my phone with me and we eavesdropped in on the conversation.  We were interrupted quickly by Luke's mum asking him to come home, so he left, but Michael and I continued listening. I felt my heart flutter when Katrina would constantly defend me, I thought she really did appreciate our friendship – or so what I thought was a friendship. But when she basically admitted knowing about how I was unpopular and that she was going to drop me after the project was over, well, I took that personally. I wanted to sit in a corner and not talk to anyone, but I was trying hard not to seem even weaker in front of Michael by doing something stupid like crying. And I realised that however hard you try, two people like Katrina and I just aren't meant to mix.

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banter

lol let me know if you didn't expect the ending im hoping i tricked u

i was thinking about switching POVs between kat and cal for this chapter but then i thought nah let's keep cal 1st person POV and add in the phone call

k i have an exam soon i need to revise

~ shay xo