Let me love you

Chapter 6

Ian's P.O.V

I check the time on my phone again, it's 23:56. Just 4 more minutes. I ran my hand through my hair once again before bringing it down to play with my rings. 

I can't sit still, I have been pacing around my room for an hour now. My stomach is all tight up making me uncomfortable. I'm not going to spill my whole life story to her, I'm just going to say what she can know for now.

I check the time one more time 00:00. Shit!

I take a deep breath and step out on my balcony sitting down with my hands resting on my lap. 

Of course, Chloe is already there sitting with one leg crossed and the other bend so she can rest her head on her knee looking in my direction.

How can she be so calm?

I shake my head, I'm just going to get it over with. I open my mouth to speak but I just let out a sigh instead.

"You know, I don't want you to say anything to me if you don't want to, " Chloe stops me before I even start.

"What?"

"I want to learn more about you. I want to know who you really are and what made you this way Ian, but not if you don't truly want to. Not if you're not ready to open up to me yet. We don't have to rush things, " she says softly.

I take my time thinking her words through and she lets me. At the start, I wasn't going to do it out of free will but because I felt like I needed to do it.

Looking at her now though, those green eyes staring back at me. Her soft voice that's like a mesmerising melody that I can hear for hours. Her bright smile and calming aura. 

I want to open up to her.

I want to let her into my world.

"I don't study Business and finance. I study fine art painting. I lied because my parents don't know the truth yet and hopefully they won't find out until I graduate cause if they do..." I take another deep breath and lean my head back on the glass door.

"If they do they'll withdraw me from University since they are the ones that pay for my tuition fees and probably kick me out of the apartment as well, " I chuckle as I feel my eyes get watery.

I hate this feeling. I hate being vulnerable.

"How come they don't know?"

"They handle my business application but what they don't know is that I also apply for the fine art bachelor's behind their backs. I got accepted into both but I rejected the business one. They don't know that though, " I say looking at her.

"My parents are very strict, they always were. I have a lot of rules that they gave me throughout the years. Rules that prevented me from doing a lot of things and living a normal life. I wasn't able to go out like every other kid was. For me, it was always school-house, nowhere else. I wasn't even allowed to go to a friend's house, only they could visit for a few hours. If you can't tell already I...still have these rules at 19 years of age. This is embarrassing!"

When I was younger it didn't really bother me to let people know that cause back then I didn't care what others were saying about me. The older I get though the more I hate talking about it as I started to listen to what others were saying about me. The older I get the more embarrassing it becomes.

People would say you're 19, you're an adult now, why don't you just leave? What they don't understand is that I don't have anywhere to go and no sufficient money of my own. I don't want to become a burden to my friends. I don't have any qualifications to get a good job. I always lived so shelter from the outside world. I've never experienced things all kids did. I wasn't allowed to live like any other normal kid. I wasn't allowed to be a kid, be a teenager and now be an adult.

"It's not embarrassing Ian. It's sad and horrible. The only people that should feel embarrassed are your so-called parents. They stole your life from you, your childhood, your teenagehood. You lost so many experiences and opportunities to make friends, play games, visit new places, hang out in nature and the list goes on and on, " she says visibly upset about what she found out.

"My only escape from all this are my paintings. My paintings are my small dreams. All the things I wished to have experienced when I was younger. That's why I told you before that my paintings were my life. My world. My very own small world, full of colour amongst all the darkness.''

"Ian, you can still get your life in your own hands. Is never too late, " she says as if almost pleading with me to not give up on my dreams.

"Isn't it?"

"No, you're still young Ian, take the time you have in your control and do what you always wanted to, " she says, eyebrows scrunching together. 

"And I supposed you know what I really wanted?" I chuckle.

"Start painting in the real world, Ian. I fully believe in you and you should start too. You don't need to do that all on your own though," she grabs onto the black metal fence that separates us, her eyes full of determination.

"After all, I reveal to you, you still want to stay?"

She gives me one of her soft smiles that warm my cold body up.

"I always stay Ian."

What is this girl doing to me? I am making choices I never would before. I'm thinking things I've never thought of before. She's herself and I wouldn't have it any other way.

She's patient and caring. She listens without interrupting. She knows me only for a month now yet she trusts me, she believes in me.

She's a friend. A good one that's for sure.

"Ian, " her soft voice calling me pulls my gaze onto hers again.

That soft smile hasn't left her face either. Her eyes those damn eyes! I can't understand the feeling they hold in them but it's beautiful.

She's beautiful.

"Ian..."  she calls again.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Show me your world, will you?"

Will I?

A/N

What are your thoughts on what Ian revealed?

What do you think of his parents now?

Will he show her his world? I guess you'll have to wait for the next chapter on Wednesday.

Feel free to comment & vote ❤️

I hope you have a great day/night! Xx

Stay safe & stay strong!

All the love - M ❤️