Let me love you

Chapter 47

Ian's P.O.V

I never realised before how much I like the feeling of the strong wind brushing my body or the ray of sunlight warming my face. The flurries of snow sitting on my clothes or the heavy rain soaking me. Now that I started going out and feeling those things more, I came to appreciate nature even more. 

Walking home alone though isn't as enjoyable anymore as it used to be the first time, I was given this freedom. I find myself missing Chloe's presence whenever I'm left with myself.

I always dread the dull conversations that I have with my father every time I go back from uni like today. I'm walking extra slow to delay that grim moment of the day as long as possible. The music is blasting loudly from my headphones, cutting me from anything happening in the outside world.

My footsteps come to a halt once I reach the apartment complex. I wish I could just move out so I can really start living my life the way I want it without constant arguments and negativity drowning me. I sigh, knowing that I can't avoid seeing my father forever, so I continue walking toward the apartment.

I pull my hoodie down as far as I can in an attempt to cover the injuries on my face, not wanting my father to see. Similarly, I shove my wrapped-up hand into my pocket, unfortunately, it's my dominant hand so it makes it more difficult for me to keep it hidden.

I put in the key and push open the door, hearing the tv playing. I take in a big breath and walk-in trying to go past the open living area where my father was sitting.

"Wait for a second young man."

I tightly close my eyes still facing away from my father.

Shit!

I thought I might have been a little lucky today but who am I kidding, when was luck on my side and it would be now?

"Why aren't you facing me? It's rude to have your back towards someone who's talking to you. I didn't raise you to be a rude person, " the annoyance is very clear in his tone.

I turn to face him whilst still trying to hide my face by looking down at the wooden floor, but he notices. He always does when it comes to something that he could lecture me on.

"What the hell! What have you done?" He says, coming closer to me and yanking my hoodie back.

I take a few steps back and bring my right hand up brushing it through my hair. Shit! Oh, well, he can see my injuries very clearly now so there's no point in hiding my hand.

Chloe gave me a cream to apply constantly on my still scared cheekbone and bruised jaw, but it'll take at least a week for them to heal.

"Really, that's the first thing you ask? Why do you think I'm the one at fault that I ended like this? I could have been mugged or jumped on by strangers on the streets, " I say, scoffing.

"But you weren't, and I doubt anyone would have tried something like this in the middle of the day. Ever since you met that girl next door you started disobeying and you've become overly confident. She's a very bad influence on you, all of a sudden you found a different voice, " he says, raising his tone a bit as he uses hand motions to exaggerate his words.

"Stop bringing her into our arguments, she has done nothing wrong. I'm still the same, the only thing that changed is that I'm standing my ground and defending myself when I need to. I think that's a good development, father, " I spat the last word at him.

I'm not backing down this time. I'm so sick and tired of sitting there like a good little boy and taking it.

"Watch your tone with me and start answering what I'm asking you, " he says, looking at me with squinted eyes and clenched jaw.

"I didn't do anything wrong, " I simply say.

"Well, I doubt that! The only people that get into pitiful fights like this are scumbags and that's not how I and your mother raised you to be, " he yells.

"You didn't raise me at all, " I say, quietly under my breath starting to pace around.

"Why do you think we put these rules for you? It's to become successful with a good job and a steady salary, " he continues yelling at me, choosing to ignore what I said.

"Bullshit! It's not just so I can become successful, it's because you didn't succeed in life, so you're putting it all on me to be the person you couldn't be, " I stop pacing around and lean back on the counter, facing him.

An eerie silence falls on us after I say that. It makes a shiver run down my spine thinking how this will end. This is one of the worst fights I've had with him.

"What cat got your tongue, father?" I say, furrowing my eyebrows. 

"Who do you think you are to be speaking to me like that young man?" He asks calmly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm your son, father, in case you forgot. I wouldn't be surprised really, seeing as you never asked me what I wanted, how I was feeling about all this. You never cared about me, hell you treat your co-workers better than you've ever treated me, " I say feeling my eyes water a bit, but I blink those upcoming tears away, I'm not going to break down, not now.

"You know that's enough! I think you talked way too much out of line today and I won't be having it. As long as you're living under my roof, you'll follow the rules we set for you, and you won't be leaving this roof until I let you go. Now go to your room, I don't want to see you again today," he goes back to the couch, sitting down as if nothing happened.

I quickly go to my room and shut the door before throwing my bag to the side and sliding down the door. I let out a breath and let the tears silently drip down my face. As much as I hate him, it still hurts even after so many years of this. It hurts seeing that emptiness and hatred in his eyes when looking at me.

I wipe my tears away and grab my colours and canvases ready to do what I know best, paint. This time I'm painting two figures, one shorter than the other, facing away from each other. There's only one colour fitting for this and it's black. My fingers vigorously rub against the canvas as I let all my emotions out on this painting.

I can only hope that things we'll be better tomorrow. 

A/N

Jeesh, what an asshole, am I right?

Stay tuned for the next chapter coming out on Friday cause someone's nightmares are back but they're different this time!

Feel free to comment & vote ❤️

I hope you have a great day/night! Xx

All the love - M ❤️