Let me love you

Chapter 19

Chloe's P.O.V

"Have you been in a relationship before?" Ian asks me as we sit on our balconies late at night.

"Yes, I have, " I say, pulling my blanket closer to me. 

"How many?"

"Only two. I was 16 when I got into my first one, it lasted for 7 months only. A year later I got into my second one and it lasted a lot longer almost 1 year and 5 months, " I say, leaning my head on the cold metal fence.

"So, your second one ended beginning of this year," he turns his head to look at me. 

"Yeah, it ended 9 months ago so, I'm way over it, " I truly am.

"What was the reason for the breakups, if you don't mind me asking, " he says, playing with the rings on his fingers with a calm look on his face.

"My first one ended because I just wasn't ready to have sex and he wanted to so we broke up. My second one ended because of distance, he was going to go to a different uni in another country and we thought that it'll be better to break up now. You can ask me anything, I don't have a problem talking about things like this."

I'm a very open person, I can talk about pretty much anything.

"Have you had sex before?"

Well, he caught me unprepared for that!

"Yeah, I have with my second boyfriend, " I say looking at his face, waiting to see what expression would take over, but I see none.

I'm not sure why he asked me that. I would think that this topic is something that as a guy you speak to your other guy friends that have the same body parts as you.

"How was your first time doing it?" He doesn't look at me when he asks this, instead he shifts his gaze towards the sky.

"It wasn't as I imagined it would be. It wasn't how everyone said it would feel. Everyone was making it seem like having sex is going to be the most euphoric feeling ever when in reality it wasn't. My first time having sex was plain and awkward. My mind was occupied with many thoughts at the start like how much it's going to hurt, am I going to bleed and if yes how much, am I going to be good at it, I mean I'm just laying there I'm not doing anything, is it going to be enjoyable and am I going to like this? With all these thoughts I couldn't let myself relax completely and my partner wasn't doing a great job at helping remove these thoughts from my head either. When we finished, I was like okay, so this is sex. I didn't feel amazing or in bliss. I was just okay and a little tired. I didn't climax either only he did."

"Wow, sex doesn't sound as enjoyable now, " he says, making me laugh.

"You just have to find what works for you and your partner. Practice makes better in everything in life, including sex. It was our first time, so we didn't know much. The more we started trying to look into what we liked and what we didn't like, what works for us and what doesn't, the better it was getting. It became enjoyable after a few more times. We didn't have that much sex either I think we only did it 10 times through our relationship, " I say.

"That was surprisingly informative, thank you. Back to the relationship part, how do they work?"

I chuckle he's so cute asking about all this romance stuff.

"By putting a lot of effort and time into it, having good communication, trust, loyalty, being equals and unconditional love. That's how they work!" I say, switching positions to help wake up my sleeping leg.

"Okay, " he whispers with eyebrows furrowed.  

"Oh, as well as learning each other's love languages. It would help you in the long run, trust me, " I say, pointing my finger at him.

"What's that?" He asks, making me lean back to get a better look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"You don't know about the five love languages?" I ask, my mouth falling agape. 

"How would I?" He asks, shrugging. 

"True, " I mumble, relaxing back down.

"Let me look it up really quick cause I don't remember exactly what some of them are called, " I say, typing on my phone.

"Okay, so we have, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Are those five? Yeah, there five, " I say before putting my phone down.

"What's your love language?" He asks me, turning all his body towards me now.

"I don't have just one, obviously all are great but for me, the two that I would say are my languages are physical touch and acts of service," I say, holding up two fingers. 

"I'm not the touchiest person but I do like those small touches here and there and I would like to have someone in the future that can help me with maybe my work and splitting the house chores equally, so I'm not the one doing everything all the time and stuff like that. What do you think yours would be?" I say, going into a little bit more details. 

"I think mine would be quality time and physical touch, " he says, running his hands up and down his arms as a cold breeze went by.

"Yeah, I think those two will suit you well, " I say, thinking out loud. 

The weak breeze makes his hair tickle his forehead and his soft-looking lips part slightly. His long eyelashes almost touch his undereye as he closes his eyes, relaxing in the cold night's breeze.

Looking at him like that makes me realize that, I am attracted to him both physically, I mean he is gorgeous, and emotionally. I always have a good time when I'm with him, whether it's a relaxing night's talk like now or a more adventurous day out.

This worries me because I don't want this to jeopardise our friendship and I don't want to frighten him by revealing that fact to him. He has a lot more to see of this world, so I don't want more things to pile on top. I'm only just attracted to him anyway, I don't feel like I like him in a romantic sense, yet at least, I don't know what the future holds.

I'll just push it to the side for now and continue with how things are.

If things change in the future, I'll see how to adapt then.

"Oh, before I forget, tomorrow I have something special planned for us, " I say, feeling a burst of energy sourcing through me thinking about what waits for us tomorrow.

"Really, what is it?" He says, sitting up better.

"You'll just have to wait and see as always meet me outside at 1:30 am okay?" I stand up gripping my blanket close to my body.

"Okay, " he says, standing up as well.

"Trust me, Ian, tomorrow would be one of the best nights of your life, goodnight, " I say, sending him a kiss before going back to my room.

A/N

Have you been in a relationship before?

Do you agree with what she said about sex?

I hope you enjoy this chapter and get ready for tomorrow's one because the temperature is rising...🔥👀

Feel free to comment & vote ❤️

Have a great day/night! Xx

All the love - M ❤️