Decapitated Dandelions

#Medicate

Heres a poem
I'm trying to fix my mental health
Things are depressed and
Gray
How original
But then I took a closer loock
I've noticed that when the skies are gray
They feel a bit more
They turn the the colors around them
A little more vibrant
And people begin to brood
It's a giant pity party
You're all invited

Now I'm thinking
So maybe I'm this grey smudge walking and morphing along a flower field of color
All moody broody like
Sad happy sappy songs play on my headphones
It's my way to drown out the unnecessary life squabbles around me
For a split second
I feel peace

I quite like the melancholy music
That serenades all my fears away
They tell me it comes along with suicidal ideation
And thoughts still pass though my mind
Like a chilly fog
I let them
Because I am frail from fighting
It doesnt help this dislocated heart within
I am very very very off kilter
Living in this eternal blue period
I'm quite confused
How is everyone's view so different here?

I'm gonna find a way to be okay with this depression
How I've become such an oxymoron over time
A person you wouldn't expect to be so morbid
The thoughts come out like worried little fruit flies
I'm a little wierd, sorry.
But oh fuck I digress
I realize that I'm so disconnected
From everyone else
I'm a true Major Tom
A Walter Mitty
My heart sings so fiercely sometimes
It's hard to keep the beast tamed
My emotions flew out the window
I only have this tiny mason jar to collect them. Can you see that I'm a bit insane?
I try to find my place
My happy
So I take another hit