Darker Than Blood

.24

One month.

It had been one month since the last time she saw him. Heard his voice, see him smiling.

Kissing.

Reclining on the wooden chair and staring absently at the green trees in her backyard. A white fence separating the green lush jungle from her backyard. . .her knees up, both hands around her legs. . hugging.  .she seemed like a part of the scenery too.

Silent.

And watchful.

Like the ancient trees.

The sky was just about darkening. .pink patches of the sky merging into gray one. Birds of all kind chirping , shrieking , hooting and going back to their nests before the dark could fall, taking food for the young ones.

Such beautiful sight and . .she couldn't even feel the half of it.

As if everything had lost their meaning.

The green wasn't green enough.

The birds weren't chirping enough.

The jungle wasn't . . .jungle enough.

The hole in her heart was widening with every passing day as if one day it would swallow her whole like a deadly blood thirsty shark. . pull her under the water. .drown her . And she almost laughed at her thoughts. .she had been naively hopeful. . hopeful that these days would get over . The crying at night , the stuffing her face in the pillow so her mother won't hear her anguish.

How was she suppose to forget him when he stalked her dreams?

How was she suppose to forget him when every night she would see him in her dreams . .blood spilling out of his eyes like tears.

One word on his lips.

"Sarah Sarah Sarah. ."

She would lay awake, too scared to go to sleep. Too scared that the next dream she would see him in much worse state. .

Every night her heart would break down and in the morning she would pick herself back up.

The dark circles under her eyes were enough to give away her state . She had stopped looking in the mirror. .she couldn't find Sarah in the reflection.

All she saw was a girl. .with nothing left to lose.

And really. .

She was sure about one thing.

Nothing in this world would ever mean anything to her.

Nothing would ever seem worth it.

With him . .even waking up in the morning was worth it.

She knew it for sure . .she was never going to love anyone more than him. Never feel for anyone more than him.

She loved him. .so much that she couldn't bear the thought of him going through something , anything,  harsh because of her . She loved him so hard so viciously. .that she couldn't tolerate a slight thorn hurting him and that too because of her?

Why put him in a difficult situation? Why make him pick when she could just leave silently? With her dignity intact?

She loved him enough to let him go.

And how pathetic it was that deep down she would have groveled at his feet to pick her . To have her. Because she couldn't live without him now—

Ah! If only. .

Love. . .

Such an unexplainable word.

One month back, she had arrived on her mother's doorstep looking like a person on the verges of losing everything. Even herself.