Sanders Sides One Shots

Coffee - Prinxiety

TW: mentions of alcohol addiction, mentions of cheating, brief mention of death, panic attack, maybe guilt tripping? I'm not sure if it's considered guilt tripping or not-

The smell of coffee made Virgil sick when he was younger. It was too strong and he could never understand how people could drink it. He understood now. That same strong smell now brought him warmth and a sense of security. The smell of the coffee hit his nose as soon as he entered Roman's apartment. Said boy greeted Virgil with a somber smile and a quiet hey.

Roman sent Virgil one of those 'we need to talk' messages yesterday and Virgil's stomach hadn't calmed sense. He didn't get any sleep last night and Roman so nicely pointed out the dark circles under Virgil's eyes as he lead him to the kitchen.

Roman gestured to a chair at his dining room table as he sat in one of the other ones. A mug that Roman had bought his boyfriend sat on the table in front of the chair Roman had pointed at, filled with a dark, steaming liquid that Virgil recognized as coffee. The mug was black with rainbow letters that said 'I need a gay Disney prince'. Roman had a matching white one that said 'I'm a gay Disney prince'.

Virgil took notice of the fact that today Roman was using his Stitch mug instead. It wasn't something that Virgil would normally be concerned with, but paired with last night's text and the most nervous expression Virgil had ever seen on Roman's face, the lack of the matching mug made his stomach churn in the most undesirable way.

He sat down and picked up the mug for something to do with his hands other than pick off the little remains of his black nail polish. His hands shook around the cup as he looked at his boyfriend. The look on Roman's face was conflicted and sad.

Roman reached towards him, but quickly retracted his hand. Virgil looked up at him, eyes pleading for Roman to start talking, to tell Virgil what he had done wrong because obviously Virgil had done something. Virgil stared at his shaking hands, trying to calm himself down.

There was a sigh and Virgil looked back to Roman's eyes. "Virgil..." There were already tears welling up in Virgil's eyes at Roman's voice, a quiet and sad tone, nothing like his normal one. "I'm sorry."  Virgil noticed then that Roman was also fighting back tears. His green eyes shined with the unshed droplets. There was a long pause now, way too long for Virgil's liking.

"Ro p-please. I can't...I don't- what's going on?" Virgil stuttered out, breathing heavily now. He was so confused! He'd never seen Roman like this, not this bad. It was a somewhat similar expression to when Roman had fucked up with alcohol, but even then it was different. This face was different and- and oh god Virgil was going to be sick. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe!

"Please calm down Virge, you're going to have a panic attack." Virgil nodded his head and reached for Roman's hand to ground himself. His boyfriend let out a small gasp, as if Virgil's touch had scalded him, but gave it a reassuring squeeze anyways. Roman began to count with Virgil, effectively slowing the anxious boy's breathing. Once Virgil was calm again there was another pause. The uncomfortable silence took over for a few unbearable minutes. The only sound was Virgil's still heavy breathing and the hum of the refrigerator that Roman had insisted multiple times he could fix himself.

If you say so Princey, but ya know I'm always willing to help.

Clearing his throat suddenly and retracting his hand from Virgil's, Roman said, "I think we should take a break." Virgil's heart plummeted and he willed his tears not to start falling.

"No." Virgil's voice sounded so devastated, but was surprisingly firm. "No, that's not a thing. 'Breaks' are just breakups between people who can't admit things to themselves."