5 Seconds of Summer Preferences

#35 Hold On Till May*

a/n: could be triggering. Hold On TIll May. Pierce the Veil. listen on the side.

Ashton: She sits up high, surrounded by the sun One million branches and she loves every one "Mom and dad, did you search for me? I've been up here so long I'm going crazy!" Ever since you were little you liked the tree in your back yard because your dad used to take you up there when you were younger. Back then it reminded you of him and it still does. However your dad wasn’t around as much as he could’ve been, and your mom was so busy with your younger siblings that you often felt forgotten. You know they didn’t mean it, but life as a teenager is never easy. The summer days and nights in the tree became your only retreat and the only place you felt safe. The branches surrounded you, holding you in place assuring you that everything would be okay at some point. You’d lost track of how long you’d been there, it could’ve been a day or quite possibly a week. You knew that logically you’d have to come down at some point but you chose not to acknowledge it. Closing your eyes and leaning back you let the sun illuminate your skin, giving it a summery glow. It wasn’t long until the leaves rustled and you felt the gush of wind signaling someone sitting beside you. Opening your eyes you were met by your older brother’s gently hazel eyes. “Hey little bird.” He smiled hugging your body close to his. You should be excited about him finally being home but you just couldn’t bring yourself to being able to. “Hi.” You mumbled back receiving a sigh of disapproval. Ashton continued to hold you close. “What’s wrong Y/N? I can see it, you never stay up here this long.” Your lips started to tremble. “I just feel so alone, all the time. Your gone, Dad left, and Mum’s always taking care of Lauren and Harry. I’m just here, alone and I hate it. I hate it!” you screamed into the wind freely crying. Ashton hated seeing you like this. “We never mean it Y/N, we don’t, life just gets in the way sometimes.” You snapped your head to him. “And when’s it going to mean a lot to me?” you hissed, jumping down from your spot to return to your room.

Michael:I heard the train shake the windows you screamed over the sound and as we own this night I put your body to the test with mine You scrolled through the constant messages of hate that kept being thrown at you. You hadn’t set out to find it, you merely stumbled upon it but it was there. Tweet after tweet throwing salt at you. You understood what it was like when your idol got a girlfriend, hell you cried hysterically when Kellin Quinn got married, but still, you never sent his wife hate. You couldn’t understand what was wrong with you but the fans clearly did. You were fat. You were useless. You were using Michael. The list continued and somewhere along the way you believed it. So you started packing and sobbing and packing again. You were two far in your mind to hear the door open or the comforting sound of his footsteps coming up the stairs, but you definitely heard his gruff voice whimper. “Y/N?” it was almost pathetic sounding. “What are you doing, angel?” Looking up from your bags you were met with his gentle green eyes in confusion.  You tried speaking but you just couldn’t get the words out, opting instead to shake your head. “Y/N, darling, please.” You just kept packing until Michael outgrew his shock and grabbed you by the arms holding you tightly to his chest. “Why are you doing this, give me one valid reason and I’ll let you go.” You only shook your head struggling and sobbing against him. “Answer me dammit!” he screamed finally scaring you into your answer. “Because they hate me alright! I’m not worthy of you! I can’t handle being hated every single day, I hate it!” You fell into him as he fiercely kissed you pushing you down onto your mattress. Clothes flew off in all directions as his plump lips nipped at your exposed skin. “Let me show you how much I love you, because at the end of the day I’m the only opinion that should matter.”

Calum:Now don't be crazy yes now of course you can stay here. Been in a touring band for going on ten years. You felt washed out touring was constant trying to make it big and here you were walking home from a gig because your bands van was complete and utter shit. Nothing was working your all’s way as it started to pour. It was most likely the first time it had rained in Southern California all year and it had to happen while you guys walked home. Your other band mates didn’t have as far a walk as you did but offered to walk you home. You brushed off their offers assuring that you’d be fine and wanted the time alone. You wanted to reevaluate what you were doing with your life. You ended up at the bridge that overlooked the river. Maybe it was the shitty day you’d had or maybe it was the fact that it was dark and you were alone, but the thought to jump was seducing your brain. You searched your jacket for the blunt that you’d had earlier needing something to clear your thoughts. Placing it in your teeth you realized you didn’t have a lighter and finally cried. Leaning your arms over you sobbed clinging to the metal railing. “Need a light?” a voice asked out of absolute nowhere scaring you but you managed to recover, nodding. The stranger was handsome in the moonlight and not really a stranger at all- he was Calum Hood from 5 Seconds of Summer. He lit your joint sending a wave of calm through you. He reached out to you, holding you close to his chest shielding you from the rain. “My place isn’t that far away, stay with me tonight and who knows maybe forever, but tonight at least so I know you’re safe.”

Luke: "If you were me, you'd do the same 'cause I can't take anymore.  I'll draw the shades and close the door everything's not alright and I would rather..." Luke had only asked a simple question, why? Why would you feel this way? Why would you want to end everything? Why did you want to hurt yourself? You has asked yourself this many times and decided that you hated yourself. There was no other way to say it. You prompted your boyfriend into being in your place which only brought tears to his innocent blue eyes. “What do I have to live for?” you asked as he cleaned up the mess you had me to yourself. His normally gently manner diminished, as he quickly jerked at your wrist holding it tightly. “Do I not mean anything to you?” He demanded sternly. “Because the last time I checked someone who loved you unconditionally was worth living for. But by all means if I don’t mean anything to you...” Slightly taken aback you stared at him for a moment, noticing how much handsomer he looked through teary eyes. “Of course you mean the world to me, but how am I supposed to love you if I can’t love myself?” Luke took his free hand and titled your chin toward his face, his light stubble tickling along your skin. “To love yourself you have to want yourself. You can’t want to die because that doesn’t give you the chance to ever forgive yourself. If I decided to kill myself after every time I hated something I did I’d be dead a hundred times over.” You couldn’t help but laugh even though this was no laughing matter. Luke chuckled skimming your lips as he finished his speech. “Darling, you’ll be okay.”