-I Had A Dream-

Chapter 7: Like nothing happened

Ruby woke up to a loud scream.  She knew immediately that it was Oscar. She was lying on the floor, half-naked and terribly freezing, although it was quite warm in the room. Her head felt like it was about to explode. Her body ached terribly, and the stabbing pain on her back and between her legs suggested that he hadn't been particularly careful with her last night. Ruby tasted the dried blood on her lips and tried to remember what had happened last night. The fragments in her head scared her. She couldn't defend herself. Not against him, not against the pain and the blows. She winced when she remembered Oscar's lashes to silence her. She blinked the tears from her eyes and struggled to sit up a little. Only now did she notice where the pain in her hands was coming from: Her wrists were tightly tied with a rope so that it had already rubbed deep into her skin. Ruby didn't even try to get free. As she looked around, she found she was still in Oscars, which he had named it at her expense, playroom. It was a tall, wide room with dimmed lights, the walls were soundproof, so Oscar would never run the risk of being noticed here. In retrospect, of course, it was impossible to be heard in dangerous situations. Ruby didn't dare look at all of the items that were hanging on the walls, placed on shelves or in glass cabinets. Lots of people would probably use this for their fun, but Ruby was just terrified. Never in her life had anyone treated her well with such things.
While she was thinking about it, the door opened and Oscar emerged. He looked dazed, and Ruby knew this could only mean that he had been on his drugs. He stared at her for a while, but Ruby couldn't read the look in his eyes. She pressed against the wall when he came up to her.
Look at that. Miss crybaby is finally awake.  How nice.
Ruby was silent, her whole body was shaking and she wasn't even sure if the cold was to blame for this. Oscar's hand went between her hands and he pulled her close by the rope as he leaned sigh down to her. Ruby leaned her head to one side, closed her eyes, and whimpered softly. While she was still doing this, she suddenly felt her cheek start burning when she was caught by Oscar's hand. She fell silent for a moment, afraid of being hit again.
Woe to you if you tell one of your useless people about what we're doing here. You know what else happens...
His fingers lifted her chin so she had to look at him.
And we want to have a lot of fun together, don't we ?
He smiled ironically, Ruby only nodded tentatively and hoped that he would finally let her go.

The reflection Ruby was looking at in the mirror showed someone who was almost a stranger to her. The make-up hid any bruises and marks that would have indicated signs of violence. Her lips were smooth red, her eyes darker in color, and her eyelashes curved a deep black. Ruby almost didn't recognize herself anymore. She took a deep breath as she felt the tears rise and pressed her long, purple fingernails into the edge of the sink. Her heart was pounding so hard it almost hurt her.
Nobody was ever allowed to know what she was experiencing at home. Not even her two friends who had to wait for her to go to work.
Oscar didn't have a job. He lived at Ruby's expense, knowing that her company was one of the best known in America. Ruby had just accepted it and stopped protesting. When she finally left the house, it was almost in slow motion. The wind stayed a gentle breeze in her face and made a little space in her head. All she was looking forward to were the times when she was away from home. Alone and without an Oscar.
She left the gravel driveway of her house and disappeared around the next corner with her car. Each time it was like a stone falling from her. She kept too many memories trapped within herself every day, things that no one knew about. Things that no one should ever know. Ruby was more afraid of herself than most other people.
While she waited at the traffic lights and looked in the rearview mirror, she tried to put on a short smile to appear happy again to others. That was her once, a happy, enthusiastic person who had never given up. Sometimes she regretted not having been lost in the war as well. That could have saved her so much.
Me for you, you for me,
It was us against them all.
But slowly it came to me,
What was underneath it all ?
The roads always seemed like an endless stretch of asphalt to her, with no start and no destination, just straight ahead and hopefully at some point stranded in one place like a sunken ship.
I never thought that I would be this helpless,
I can't believe I'm giving in for you.
I've been crushed, I've had enough...
Sometimes she wished she'd never get anywhere. Just keep driving, as far away as the world allowed. In the next moment, however, she doubted that she would ever have a goal. If you never got anywhere, it would never be any different. It would be just like running away. On the other hand, she never wanted to go back to where her journey started every day. Over and over again. Like a cycle.
Ruby shook her head to put the thoughts off and focus again. It wouldn't be long before she could finally be with her friends again. Something she was proud of, everything here that she really had from her heart. During the last minutes of the journey she thought of what was going to happen today and kept humming the melody of the song that she couldn't get out of her head.